


Domestic Bliss - Family

by hannahfanficrobron



Series: Family Life [2]
Category: Emmerdale
Genre: Family, Fatherhood, Fluff, Happy, M/M, Relationship(s)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-10
Updated: 2016-10-05
Packaged: 2018-07-22 18:57:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 32
Words: 28,314
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7450411
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hannahfanficrobron/pseuds/hannahfanficrobron
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I was asked to do some more one shots with Aaron and Robert with a baby as part of my Domestic Bliss series, so I've decided to put all the family orientated ones in its own series. Hope all the fluff is enjoyed! Ch 31 up.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Can we make it work?

**Author's Note:**

> Starting with the premise that Aaron isn't too keen on having children, where Robert is. I'm trying not to make this too confusing!

Aaron had his feet up on the coffee table, beer in hand, thinking hard. He’d barely been thinking about anything else since Robert had dropped the bombshell a few weeks ago. He wanted kids. The thought quite literally terrified him. God, what the hell would the two of them be doing with a baby? Liv was bad enough. He loved Liv, of course he did but there was no denying that she was a handful at times. A lot of the time. Aaron had never considered children, not really. Once he realised he was gay, it was something that had almost been taken off the table, at least biologically. It didn’t matter, and he didn’t have to think about it. One less thing he had to consider. Plus he never thought he’d ever have a stable relationship for long enough for it to ever be a consideration.

And then with the many, many issues he had with his own parents… he had had quite possibly the worst father in the world, and he loved his mother dearly, but Chas had left him. Without even looking back, she‘d abandoned him and let him down. That still hurt when he let himself think about it. Which is why he didn’t let himself think about it very often.

“Stop that look on your face,” Robert said. Aaron looked to the kitchen, following the noises Robert was making, he hadn’t even realised he was home.

“I’m thinking,” Aaron said, getting up and leaning against the kitchen door frame, watching Robert in the kitchen. “You’re cooking?”

“Mm,” Robert said. “And I know exactly what you’re thinking about, I meant it when I said forget it. I don’t need children”

“I can’t forget it,” Aaron said honestly. Robert sighed, closing his eyes for a minute. “And you want them, don’t you? Kids.”

“I never should have said anything,” Robert said, back going stiff. “Can we…?”

“No, I’m glad you did,” Aaron said. “It’s something I need to know, isn’t it?”

Robert sighed again, but said nothing as Aaron walked up to him, wrapping his arms around his waist, kissing the top of his shoulder. Aaron closed his eyes, feeling his body relaxing under his touch. “What’re you cooking?”

“Nothing,” Robert said. “Vic gave us some casserole. I’m just heating it up.”

“Mm… It seemed far too domestic for you,” Aaron said, making Robert smile as he kissed him briefly. Aaron let him go before returning to the subject in hand.

“Everyone’s parents are screw ups,” Aaron said. “Everyone lets their children down. You hardly got on with your father, did you?”

“Yeah, I think screwing up is part of being a parent,” Robert said rolling his eyes. “No one’s perfect. If you needed to be perfect to raise a child, no one would ever have them.”

“Do you really think we could make it work?” Aaron asked, needing to know, not simply wanting Robert to appease him.

“Children?” Robert said, making sure he had the right conversation in mind. “Yeah, I do,” he said honestly. “I love you, Aaron. I believe you would be a brilliant father. Come on, when do you ever let your family down? You knew Liv for five minutes before you were inviting her to move in with us.”

“Which you weren’t too happy with.”

“Well… no,” Robert said. “I was greedy and I wanted you to myself at the time.” Robert smiled slightly. “And I didn’t mean tomorrow. I meant at some point. I married you, I want you for the rest of my life, whatever that brings.” Aaron smiled at him and kissed him gently. He’d got the reassurance he needed. Robert had managed it without even trying.

“Okay,” Aaron said, aware this one word could change his life.

“Okay, what?” Robert asked. Then read the serious look on his face. “Look, don’t say that if you don’t mean it, it’ll just get my hopes up and…”

“No, I mean it. If you think it can work, but you have got to be sure Robert,” Aaron said urgently. “I can’t let a child down. After all I went through, I can’t do it.”

“Which is why you’d be a brilliant parent,” Robert reiterated, his palm caressing his face. “I know it, even if you’re not sure.” Aaron bit his lip, unsure that what he’d agreed to was the right thing. He’d never expected to have children, but Robert was right. It didn’t have to be tomorrow, or any time soon. They were just keeping the possibility open for the future.

“I love you,” Aaron said quietly.

“You don’t have to do this to keep me, you know,” Robert said, his right hand still caressing Aaron’s face in reassurance.

“I know,” he said. “I believed you when you said you needed me. Because I need you too, Rob.” Robert did that half smile of his and pulled Aaron in for a kiss.

“You’re burning the food,” Aaron whispered, catching the scent.

“I don’t care. You’re more important.” And with that, Robert pulled him in for a deeper kiss.

 

 

 


	2. Not Enough

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the enthusiasm for chapter one! Here's the next one as a thank you, enjoy!

Aaron shook a rattle over Ellie on her play mat, making her smile, which in turn made Aaron smile. Ellie reached for the rattle with serious concentration and Aaron gave it to her, her tiny fingers wrapping around it firmly.

“You’re such a natural with her,” Victoria said from the doorway, her hands cradling her mug of tea, smiling at the scene that confronted her.

“Has Robert been on at you?” Aaron snapped, the impatience clear. His tone of voice completely threw her, and her face went blank, eyes wide in surprise.

“On at me about what?” Victoria asked, completely bewildered. Aaron sighed as it was now obvious she had no idea what he was talking about. He shouldn’t have bitten her head off, it wasn’t fair. Aaron picked Ellie up and sat down on the sofa with her, biting his lip. Victoria sat next to him, watching as Aaron absentmindedly toyed with the rattle, keeping Ellie occupied.

“A few months ago, Robert told me he wants kids,” Aaron said. Victoria’s face lit up with joy, but it faded when she realised Aaron didn’t seem thrilled.

“And you don’t?” Vic guessed.

“I’m scared,” Aaron admitted. “I’m not going to be good enough to look after a child. I’m never good enough.”

“Aaron…” Vic said sadly.

“I had horrible parents,” Aaron continued. “I don’t think I’m up for it. What if I mess the kid up?”

“You want to know a secret?” Vic said. “No parent has any clue what they’re doing.”

“I’m not sure that’s making me feel better,” Aaron said, and Vic laughed, squeezing his arm briefly.

“You’d be a good dad,” Vic said, no doubt in her mind.

“How are you and Robert so sure of that?” Aaron asked, irritated. It was as if the Sugden’s knew him better than he knew himself, and their smug conviction was beginning to grate on him.

“Because you care, Aaron,” Vic said simply. “Do you know how many parents out there don’t give a stuff about their children? Far, far too many.”

“Maybe,” Aaron said. Ellie yawned and Aaron couldn’t help his lips twitching. She was seriously cute when she wasn’t crying.

“Give her here,” Vic said. “I’ll put her down, she needs a sleep.”

“You see, I’d never know that,” Aaron said. “I’d never get the parenting thing.”

“I don’t have a radar, Aaron,” Vic said impatiently. “After a dozen or so days in a row when she’s screaming because she’s overtired, I’m sure you’d pick it up,” Victoria said, taking Ellie to the nursery. Aaron sat on the sofa, thinking hard. It’d been three months since they’d discussed it, and Robert hadn’t brought it up again. Things between them had gone back to normal and it’d been clear that Robert had meant it when he said there was no rush. Only a possibility for the future.

When Vic came back five minutes later, Aaron wasn’t quite finished with the subject. “I’ve been looking into it,” Aaron admitted. “To see what we could possibly be getting ourselves into with adoption and…”

“And what?” Vic asked, sensing a problem.

“There is so much to do, so many hoops you’ve got to jump through to even get on the waiting list,” Aaron said.

“Meaning that because something’s difficult, you shouldn’t do it?” Vic asked.

“I don’t know,” Aaron said. “That’s the honest answer, I don’t know.”

“I’m not telling you to do it,” Vic said. “I’m telling you to think about it.”

“I know,” Aaron said. “Can you not mention to Robert that we had this conversation?”

“I won’t,” Vic said. “Adam neither. I’ll keep my mouth shut.”

“Thanks,” Aaron said. He wrapped an arm around his sister in law, and held her close. It only took about five minutes for Vic to fall asleep against him. Aaron knew she was over tired due to the baby, so he didn’t move her. Simply let her rest against him.

* * *

 

“Where’s Liv?” Aaron asked as he got home, finding Robert watching the football.

“Out with… I forget,” Robert said with a shrug. “Becky, I think. She’ll be home by nine.”

“Good,” Aaron said. “I’ve had a conversation with your sister.”

“How is she?” Robert asked. Then caught the serious look on Aaron’s face and he switched the football off. “What?”

“Vic’s fine,” Aaron said, correctly reading the concern there.

“This is about the baby subject, isn’t it?” Robert said. “Changing your mind?” Aaron hated himself for the disappointment on Robert’s face, he thinking Aaron was backing out. Getting Robert’s hopes up only to change his mind would be worse than just saying no when the subject came up in the first place.

“Not exactly,” Aaron said. “Do you realise how much you have to do to even be considered as adoptive parents?” 

Robert stared at him blankly. “You’ve been looking into it,” Robert said with a little bit of shock. The subject hadn’t come up in months, and Robert had let it go, thinking Aaron was getting used to the idea, wanting to give him as much time as he needed.

“Haven’t you?” Aaron asked in surprise.

“No,” Robert said. “I always meant it when I said it didn’t have to be now. I’m not pushing you and there is no rush.” But the fact Aaron was seriously considering it caused a bubble of joy that Robert had never felt before. He reached for Aaron’s hand and squeezed tightly.

“You want this?” Aaron asked.

“We have to both want it,” Robert reminded him.

“I think I do,” Aaron said. “I’m just scared, Rob.”

“Of what?”

“Having a whole other brand new person rely on me.”

“Us,” Robert corrected gently.

“Us then,” Aaron said. “I never feel like I’m enough.”

“You’re enough,” Robert said, pulling him into his arms and holding him tightly. “You’ve always been enough for me.” While this wasn’t exactly true (the word Chrissie floating over both of their minds), it had certainly been true for the last few years. They ended up horizontal on the sofa, holding each other for comfort.

“We need to talk to Liv before we do anything,” Robert said, kissing Aaron‘s head.

“Yes, we do,” he said fervently. “I love you.” Robert kissed him again. The words "I love you" didn’t feel strong enough to convey all he felt for Aaron.


	3. Liv

Robert knocked on her open bedroom door. “Liv?”

“What?” she said distractedly, her school books strewn all over her bed as she caught up with work. When they’d met her Robert could never imagine her doing all this homework, even if her exams were coming up. How things could change in a couple of years.

“Do you want ice cream?” Liv looked up at that, frowning at him.

“You look guilty,” she said. “Broke Aaron’s favourite mug again?”

“For the last time, the handle just snapped off, I didn’t break it!” Robert said, making Liv laugh. “We want to talk to you.”

“Then ice cream sounds good,” Liv said. “Because you look serious.” She snapped her book shut and came into the kitchen.

“I’m not in trouble, right?” she said, seeing Aaron look just as concerned as Robert. “I’ve not done anything.”

“No, we know,” Aaron said. “We just need to talk to you.” Liv sat down, feeling like her world was about to be rocked.

“What?” she asked. “Go on, spit it out.”

“Aaron and I have been talking,” Robert said, seeing Aaron’s face and knowing he wasn’t going to be the one to start this off. “We’re considering, at some point… adopting a baby.” Liv looked from one to the other of them, eyes flicking back and forth, seeing that they were both serious about this.

“Right,” she said, her heart dropping. “So… when d’you want me out?” 

“What?” Aaron said, frowning at her, not following.

“You’re starting a family, so my times up, right?” Liv felt like crying. She’d always known that living with Aaron and Robert wouldn’t be forever, but it hurt a lot, knowing they were picking a hypothetical baby over her.

“You are not going anywhere,” Aaron said firmly. “Not unless you want to,” he added, softer.

“You really want me around?” she asked, directing it to Robert as if unable to understand that.

“What is it with your family?” Robert said looking between Aaron and Liv. “Neither of you ever believe it when I tell you that you’re wanted!”

Aaron and Liv caught each others eyes and a quiet ripple of laughter went around the kitchen table, which faded away quite quickly.

“I know I’m in the way,” Liv said sadly. “I get it, of course you’d want your own family. Why would you want Aaron’s little sister around?”

“We have our family,” Robert said. “And you’re part of that, Liv. This is just making it bigger, that’s all.”

“You say that now,” Liv said, looking at the table. “But I’m sure when you fall in love with this new baby it’ll be a totally different story.”

“If you’re not all right with it, we’ll wait,” Robert said gently. “There’s no rush.”

“You’d do that for me?” Liv asked in surprise.

“Course we would,” Aaron said, winking at her. She smiled, she couldn’t help it. “You came first.”

“It’s fine,” she said, not wanting to let either of them down after how much they‘d done for her over the past few years. “You… you want me here?”

“We are not replacing you, Liv,” Robert said firmly. “It’s never been about that.” He took Liv’s hand and squeezed gently. “Aaron and I… we didn’t even discuss chucking you out. It’s not an option, okay? Unless you want to go back to Sandra.”

“No,” Liv said quickly. “I want to be here with you.” 

“Good,” Robert said. “Are you okay with this?”

“It’s going to take a bit of getting used to,” she admitted. “When’s the baby get here?”

“Yeah, I don’t think it works like that,” Robert said as Aaron laughed, more from the release of tension than because it was funny. “Got to do all sorts of things before you’re even on the waiting list. It’ll probably be at least a year until things change.”

“Oh,” she said, and Aaron could tell she was relieved. “Sorry, it’s just… a big change.”

“I know,” Aaron said. “It’ll be all right though. We wanted to talk to you before we started anything.”

“Good,” she said. She forced a smile. “You promised ice cream,” she reminded Robert. He smiled and went to the freezer.

* * *

 

It’d been a quiet night and Liv had gone to bed early, thinking over what they’d told her, they were sure. Both men cuddled up on the sofa tightly, aware that they’d started to change their lives.

“So…” Aaron said quietly. “We’re doing this?”

“Yeah,” Robert replied, stroking his hair. “I guess we _are_ doing this.”

“Sorry, it’s… telling Liv makes it more real,” Aaron said. “And I am nervous.”

“We don’t have to do this,” Robert reminded him, though it would break his heart were Aaron to change his mind at this point. Robert would have rather not have had his hopes raised at all.

“I want to,” he said. “I know you gave me the first push, but… I do want this. I think you’re going to need to remind me that it can work, we can make it work, though. A lot.”

“I can do that,” Robert said, grinning at him. “Come here.” Robert pulled him close and kissed him slowly, lovingly. Aaron moaned into the embrace, Robert felt so perfect against him, even after all this time. He didn’t know if he’d ever get used to how good it felt.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm open to suggestions on names and the gender of the baby if anyone wants to weigh in!


	4. Yes or No?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Set about 6 months or so on from the last chapter. I'm also taking a few liberties with the adoption process to make it work for this story, so I know it might not be entirely accurate! Thank you to those who gave me name suggestions! Enjoy.

“How’d it go?” Chas asked as both men walked into the pub, Aaron loosening his tie.

“Okay,” Aaron said. “I think. I hope. I don’t know.” He shrugged, wanting to stop thinking about it. It was done now, nothing could be changed.

“Drink?” Chas asked from behind the bar.

“Yeah, pint please,” Aaron said. Robert still hadn’t said anything so while Chas was pouring the drinks Aaron turned to him.

“Okay?” he asked.

“Yeah,” Robert said. “Just thinking.”

“I thought you had that gormless look on your face,” Aaron teased. Robert smiled briefly and pulled Aaron into his arms, his back to Robert’s chest, arms around his waist. “Thank you,” Robert whispered, kissing his temple briefly. He needed the reassuring touch of Aaron in his arms right now.

“For what?”

“You were amazing today, you really were.” Aaron smiled, turning in Robert’s arms to kiss him properly.

“We might not be approved yet,” Aaron reminded him.

“We’ve done all we can, though,” Robert said. He kissed Aaron once more before letting him go, turning to his waiting pint on the bar. “Thanks Chas.” She still didn’t entirely approve of Robert but she’d given up fighting it by this point. She knew that Robert and Aaron were for good, and she was privately rather excited about having a grandchild to spoil. Though she had pointed out that she was far too young, and if either of them dared to call her “grandmother” they’d be barred for life.

“How’s Liv?” Chas asked.

“She’s okay,” Aaron said. Actually, after the initial shock had worn off, she seemed to be looking forward to having a new baby in the house. Which had surprised both him and Robert until they‘d got used to it.

“Well, she’s taking it better than you did when it first came up,” Robert teased. Aaron laughed, it felt easy now. He had been terrified when they’d started to look into adoption but now he was looking forward to it. Still nervous, but in a good way.

Robert’s phone rang and Aaron bit his lip, knowing who it would be. “Yes?” Robert said, answering it. There was a long silence, Robert listening to the other end of the call.

“Mum, get the champagne,” Aaron said quietly.

“He’s not even said anything,” Chas said, looking at Robert, distracted by the phone call, his eyes darting around the room.

“No, but I know that look on his face. It’s good news.” Chas raised her eyebrows but willingly got the bottle out of the fridge.

“Yes,” Robert was saying, his eyes sparkling at Aaron. “Thank you.”

“Well?” Aaron asked as he hung up the phone.

“We’re officially on the waiting list. Aaron… It‘s going to happen.” Aaron exhaled heavily in relief and pulled Robert to him, needing to hold him. When he let go, Robert looked half stunned, and Aaron couldn’t remember seeing him so speechless. He didn’t even move until Chas popped the champagne, the noise jarring him out of his shock.

“You wanted this,” Aaron reminded him, a little worried at his reaction.

“I know,” he said. “But now it’s happening. I… I’m a bit shocked. Happy, but shocked.”

“Drink then,” Aaron said, giving him a brief wink and pushing a champagne glass towards him. He smiled then, finally, and Aaron felt relief. It was actually happening. At some point, they’d be getting a child of their own. Robert’s hand laced through his and squeezed tightly, not letting go.

“Well?” Liv asked, coming into the pub, her eyes landing on Aaron.

“We’ve been approved,” Aaron said, grinning at her.

“That’s great,” she said, a genuine smile on her face. “Oh, you’re celebrating,” she added, seeing the champagne. “I’ll have some.”

“Er… not in my pub you won’t,” Chas said.

“I’m seventeen!” Liv said indignantly.

“Exactly,” Chas said. But as soon as she turned her back, Robert gave her a glass with a wink. Liv chuckled, downing it in one and putting the empty glass back on the bar, all innocence as Chas returned, narrowing her eyes at Liv.

“What?!” she asked. Aaron laughed, he couldn’t help it. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d felt so light and happy. As Robert’s hand rested on the base of his spine gently, comfortingly, Aaron thought he could get used to this. _Happy_.


	5. Phone Call

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, a reminder that I'm adapting parts of the adoption process to suit this story. I'm robronalways on tumblr if you want to find me! Enjoy...

Aaron lay dozing on the sofa, waiting for Robert to come home. It was late, but he didn’t care, he didn’t want to go to bed without his husband, not again. Robert had been on an overnighter for the business and Aaron had missed him, no matter how much he might pretend otherwise. He must have actually drifted off to sleep, because the next thing he knew, Robert was standing in front of him, smiling at him stretched on the sofa.

“Hi,” he said quietly. “Liv?”

“In bed,” Aaron said, his voice a little hoarse from sleep.

“Good,” Robert said before quickly stripping his shirt off and lying on top of Aaron. Aaron smiled at the contact, just wishing his own shirt wasn’t on so he could touch Robert properly, feel their skin touch everywhere. Instead he opened his thighs, wrapping his legs around Robert’s body. Robert felt so happy how Aaron reacted to him when still half asleep. It had taken quite some time for Aaron to not jerk away, have an instant bad reaction when pulled from sleep by Robert‘s touch. But now he almost sank into the embrace, even when not completely aware and Robert treasured the trust that showed from Aaron, whether he was aware of it or not.

“I’ve missed you,” Robert said, kissing him gently.

“So have I,” Aaron said. Then added something which he hoped didn’t sound too needy. “I hate it when you’re away.”

“Nice to know I’ve made an impression,” Robert teased, a slow smile on his face. “We’ll be okay, Aaron.”

“Er… why wouldn’t we be?” Aaron asked, confused.

“I meant… Just the two of us. We’ll be okay.”

“It’s going to happen, Rob,” Aaron said, knowing he was thinking about the adoption. But he shook his head kindly.

“We’ve been waiting ages,” Robert said. “It’s okay. I wanted to say that if it never happens, we’ll be okay. I love you, you’re all I need.”

“We would be okay,” Aaron said. “Course we would, just the two of us. But…”

“But what?” Robert asked.

“I got a phone call today,” Aaron said slowly, biting his lip before continuing. “Social worker.”

“Are you telling me what I think you’re telling me?” Robert asked, reading the happiness in Aaron’s eyes, more than the words he said.

“They’re giving us a baby,” Aaron said, unable to hold the grin any longer. He’d wanted to tell Robert himself, to see the expression on his face, which was quickly turning from shock to happiness, to pure joy. He moved so quickly, Aaron didn’t see it, just felt Robert’s lips on his, a deep passionate kiss that didn’t seem to end.

“God, let me breathe, Rob,” Aaron gasped, twisting his head away for a moment. Robert laughed, he couldn’t help it.

“You’re not winding me up?”

“No,” Aaron said, a hand cradling Robert’s face gently. “I wouldn’t do that to you. Do you really think I’d be that cruel?”

“No,” he said. “I can’t believe this.” Robert kissed him again, this time a softer brush of lips. “Why didn’t you call me?”

“I wanted to see this,” Aaron said, his palm moving, thumb brushing over Robert‘s lips slowly. “That look on your face, and I couldn’t have, if I’d called you.” Robert dipped his head, his lips smiling against Aaron’s neck.

“Have you told Liv?”

“I’ve not told anyone,” Aaron said.

“So… what now? When? What happens now?”

“The woman, she’s six months pregnant, so we have some time to wrap our heads around this,” Aaron said, grateful that it wouldn’t be happening instantly, at least for him.

“She could change her mind, then?” Robert said.

“Yeah, that’s the positive thinking we want,” Aaron said sarcastically.

“Thinking practically,” Robert said, still curled up against his husband. 

“Can we think practically tomorrow?” Aaron asked. “For one night, can’t we just be happy?”

“Never thought I’d see the day,” Robert said.

“Hmm?”

 _“You_ convincing me to be happy,” Robert elaborated. Aaron chuckled and tightened his grip on Robert. A lot still to do, but for now they could simply hold each other in contentment, aware that their lives had changed for good with one wonderful phone call.


	6. Names

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two in one day! Amazing what I can do with the day off work isn't it? Enjoy! x

“We have to think of names,” Robert said quietly, a little nervous about bringing it up. He didn’t need to be though, he saw Aaron smile as he looked down, stirring sugar into his mug of tea. Now it was more than a possibility, it was inevitable that they would have a child at some point. Which meant names needed to be at least discussed.

“I have been thinking,” Aaron said.

“Have you?” Robert asked, pleased.

“Mm,” he said, then spoke more firmly. “I think I should pick.”

“Er… why you?” Robert asked, confused.

“Because the baby will be Sugden,” he said, like it was obvious. “So I should pick the first name.”

“When did we decide the baby was taking my last name?” Robert asked, unable to help the grin on his face at the thought. Aaron smiled again into his tea as he sat down on the arm chair.

“I assumed,” Aaron said. “I’ve never… I’ve not been a Dingle for long enough, it never really feels like my name, not properly. And certainly not enough to hand over to a child, even though they’re my family. And it _won’t_ be Livesy, so… that leaves your name. Unless you’ve got a problem with it?”

“No!” he said instantly. “No,” he repeated, calmer. “I’d love that. If you’re okay with it?”

“Yeah,” Aaron said. “So I’m picking the first name, okay?”

“Fine,” Robert agreed reluctantly. “But I have to like it. I’m not going to put up with something dreadful just to please you.”

“Okay,” he agreed.

“So… what’ve you thought of? Or are you going all biblical like the rest of your family?” Robert rolled his eyes and Aaron grinned.

“I like that idea,” Aaron admitted. “My family tradition with your last name? I like it.” Robert didn’t voice it, but he liked the idea too. It felt right.

“I like Chloe,” Aaron continued, a little nervous about his suggestions in case Robert hated them.

“That’s not a biblical name,” Robert said, frowning at him.

“It is,” Aaron said. “I’ve got an app on my phone.”

“You’re kidding, there’s an app for that?” Robert asked, laughing. “Show me.” Aaron got it up on his phone.

“Gives random suggestions, so you get some up twice,” Aaron explained.

“Go on, then,” Robert said. “Give me some suggestions.”

“Oh, that’s going well,” Aaron said sarcastically. “The first one’s Edna.” Aaron laughed. “Oh, that was worth it for the look on your face!”

“Seriously now,” Robert said. “Come on.”

“Elizabeth, Hannah, Moses… that’s gone. Anna, Jonah, Tobias, Joseph. I like Joe. Adam, no bloody way.” Robert laughed. “Jemima?” Aaron scrunched his nose up at that one. “James.”

“I like James,” Robert said, chipping in. “Jamie.”

“Benjamin,” Aaron suggested. “Leah. No we can’t have Leah.”

“Why not?” Robert asked, not following. He quite liked the name for a girl.

“We’ve got a Liv, Leah’s too close,” Aaron said, without even thinking about it. Robert smiled at him, he couldn’t help it. It was amazing how Liv had simply merged into their family so quickly. And yeah, it had been a few years now, but Robert struggled to remember what life had been without her.

“Mary, Eve, Mark…”

“No, Mark’s probably not a great idea,” Robert said, an odd note to his voice. Aaron stared at him so he continued. “I had a thing with a Mark, years ago. Anyway, not a good idea.”

“How long ago?” Aaron asked curiously.

“Oh…” Robert started, thinking hard. “Six or seven years ago? Just, no.”

“Hi,” Liv said, coming in through the front door, interrupting them for which Robert was grateful for. Aaron looked far too eager to start asking questions. “All right?”

“Yeah, we’re discussing baby names,” Robert said, grinning.

“Oh,” she said, her face looking suddenly downcast.

“What’s wrong?” Aaron asked.

“I am happy for you two, with the baby. But… for one night, can it be about me?” she asked, looking between them both.

“What’s happened?” Robert asked, sensing something had changed. Liv smiled and held up a letter.

“I got accepted to Manchester Uni,” she said, grinning widely.

“That’s fantastic,” Robert said sincerely, as Aaron hugged her tightly.

“Knew you had a brain in there somewhere,” Aaron said, ruffling her hair and laughing under his breath.

“Oh, thanks!” she said sarcastically, playfully hitting Aaron‘s chest.

“Come here, you,” Robert said, giving her a hug. “Well done. Glad you pulled yourself together.” He gave her a wink and she smiled.

“Where d’you want to go?” Robert asked. Liv frowned. “To celebrate,” he said. 

“You don’t have to bother. I know you’re busy,” Liv said, knowing she wasn’t number one any more.

“We absolutely have to bother,” Aaron said firmly. “We’re taking you out for a meal tonight, where do you want to go.”

“We haven’t had a good Chinese takeaway in ages,” she said, smiling at them.

“Seriously, out of anything, that’s what you want?” Robert asked in disbelief.

“I plan on ordering a lot of dishes, and then living off it for a week and a half,” she said.

“Oh, that sounds healthy,” Robert said with no objection, getting her the Chinese menu from the kitchen drawer. She grinned and started circling dishes.

“We’re proud of you, Liv,” Aaron said softly.

“Thanks,” she said. “Never thought I’d ever get in!”

“Well, when we met you…” Both Aaron and Liv gave Robert identical glares and he didn’t dare finish the sentence, thinking the joke wouldn’t go over well. “Yeah, yeah, I’m paying,” Robert said as a consolation. 

“Go for the pancake rolls,” Aaron suggested, stealing the pen from her and circling it on the menu. Robert couldn’t help but smile.


	7. Early

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, my internet has decided to drop out and BT don't know why, so updates might be sporadic until they fix it!
> 
> Also, this is much more angsty and less fluffy in this chapter (and the next couple) but there will be lots of good happiness on the horizon, I promise!

“Why’re you even bothering?” Aaron asked, seeing Robert repaint the room that was going to become their child’s nursery.

“It’s important it’s right,” Robert said, feeling like throwing the paintbrush at Aaron for his indifference.

“Yeah, but we don’t know if munchkin’s a girl or a boy yet, so you’re repainting a white room… white,” Aaron said. “Isn’t that insane?”

“We’re not painting it when “munchkins” here,” Robert said, turning his nose up at Aaron‘s nickname. “Don’t want him or her around the paint fumes.”

“You two are infuriating,” Liv shouted from the sofa, flicking the TV. “Aaron, let him paint it whatever stupid colour he wants.

“And it’s not white, it’s cream,” Robert said.

“Cause that makes all the difference,” Aaron replied, rolling his eyes. “D’you want a beer?”

“No, thanks,” Robert said, returning his concentration to the walls. “Hey, can you get that?” he added as his phone started ringing, not wanting to get it covered in paint. Aaron got up and answered it.

“Hello?” Aaron didn’t say another word, but he didn’t have to. His face had paled, noticeable even under the stubble. Robert dropped the paintbrush, studying his face. Something was terribly wrong.

“We’re on our way.”

“What is it?” Robert asked at the same time Liv switched the TV off.

“Polly… she’s gone into labour.”

“No, she can’t have,” Robert said, arguing. “She’s not due for another month.”

“Exactly,” Aaron said. “We have to go to the hospital.”

“Get a taxi,” Liv suggested in the silence as both men stared at each other. “Come on, neither of you are fit to drive, and then you won’t have to worry about bloody hospital parking either.” Neither of them spoke, still staring at each other, both now desperately afraid of what could happen. It was too early, much too early.

“Call Finn,” Robert said eventually. Liv hurried, doing just that, but neither of the men had moved, they were almost struck dumb by the enormity of what was happening.

“What if…”

“It’ll be fine,” Robert said, more out of wishful thinking than anything concrete.

“Will it?” Aaron asked.

“Finn’s coming straight up,” Liv said, biting her lip as she gripped the phone tight. “You’ll call me, right?”

“Course we will,” Robert said, quickly stripping out of his paint covered T shirt, and finding a clean one. He scrubbed his hands in the sink, trying to get them clean until the car horn beeped outside. Aaron hadn’t moved, just staring into space, in a little bit of shock. A lot of shock. Robert pulled him into a tight hug, which Aaron returned, both of them needing the reassurance of the other.

“Come on,” Robert said lowly, both of them leaving the house.

* * *

 

The car journey to the hospital was the longest journey that either of them had ever taken. It can’t have been more than half an hour but every second felt like an eternity. After about ten minutes, Aaron laced his fingers through Robert’s hand and squeezed, not letting go. Without them having to say anything, they were both scared stiff and they both knew it.

Once they arrived at the hospital, it was a hive of activity and neither of them knew where to turn and what to say. It took another twenty agonising minutes until they found Louise, the social worker they’d been working with throughout the adoption process, standing next to a doctor.

 _“Finally,”_ Robert said with relief at seeing someone he recognised who could hopefully tell them some information. “Can you tell us what’s going on?”

“Aaron, Robert,” she said, a forced smile on her face which worried them both more than reassured them. Louise was a very happy person, so a forced smile wasn’t a good sign.

“What’s happening?” Aaron asked.

“There’s been a few complications, but your son has been born.”

“A boy?” Robert asked, his face breaking into a slow smile.

“Is he okay?” Aaron asked.

“This is where it gets complicated,” the doctor said, taking over. “He is rather early, so they’ve had to put him in the NICU, until he gets bigger and stronger. He’s also not breathing on his own yet. There’s an added complication of…” the doctor tailed off, looking uncomfortable. “What triggered early labour was… the mother took an overdose of something, we think it might have been speed.”

“Oh my God,” Robert said in shock. “Has she been taking it throughout the pregnancy?”

“Not as far as we’re aware,” the doctor said. “Judging from the baby, she’s not been on it long. Though she does have a history of drug abuse.”

“Great,” Aaron said sarcastically. “How will this effect him?”

“We’re not sure,” the doctor said. “We’re flushing the drugs out of his system and he should be okay, but the first few days could be critical.”

“He’s not… safe then?” Robert asked, incredibly worried.

“Not yet, but the first signs are good,” the doctor said. “Do you want to see him?”

“Yes,” Aaron said fervently, Robert nodding half a second later. They followed him down two corridors, where they had to wash their hands before going into the NICU. The doctor lead them to the third incubator, labelled “M, Sugden” with the date and they saw a tiny baby covered in tubes and wires.

“Oh my God,” Aaron whispered, looking at him. Robert couldn’t even bring himself to speak. He looked so frail, so tiny and helpless that Robert felt a lump in his throat and he had to tear his eyes away, looking at Louise instead.

“Is he ours?” Robert asked, the question Aaron couldn’t bring himself to say, in case the answer was no.

“As soon as you sign the paperwork,” Louise said simply. “Then... yes.”

“That easy?” Robert asked in surprise.

“Polly, she signed the documents before leaving hospital,” the social worker said, voice laced with disapproval. “Clearly relapsed and gone off to score again. Sorry, I shouldn’t say that.” She sighed heavily, pinching the bridge of her nose. Aaron couldn’t stop looking at the plastic box their child was in. It felt unreal, like this was someone else’s life. However, Robert couldn’t look at all. As if… if he didn’t look then it couldn’t be happening. He did, however, move putting his hand on Aaron’s shoulder, squeezing gently. Aaron couldn’t stop looking at the baby, their son. Seeing him here made it real, more than anything had been able to prepare them.

“I can’t be here,” Robert said. “Sorry, I have to go.”

“What, where?” Aaron asked, taking his attention off the baby for the first time since he’d stood in front of the incubator.

“I can’t… look at him. I’m sorry.” Robert turned and left the room, leaving Aaron stunned.

 


	8. Vic

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for your comments, so here's another chapter as a thank you!

“Can I touch him?” Aaron asked the doctor quietly, who was checking the equipment on another of the babies. Aaron had by now realised that their son was not nearly the worst case the hospital was dealing with right now. There was a baby girl who’d been born at twenty five weeks just across the room. Compared to that child, his son was in pretty good shape, drug withdrawal aside. He knew Robert had told Liv what was going on, but he hadn’t seen Robert since yesterday, no idea where he was hiding out.

“Go right ahead,“ she said, smiling at him. Aaron put his hand through the hole in the incubator and slowly touched the baby’s hand. _His son_. God, would he ever get used to that? The baby’s fingers twitched slightly at Aaron‘s touch, but otherwise he didn’t move. Aaron couldn’t help but smile at him. He was small and far too early, but he was all theirs. If only Robert could see it. Once he’d started touching him, he couldn’t stop. Aaron didn’t want to drop his hand and stop touching his child. Even though he was so small, much smaller than Aaron had ever been able to imagine.

“Hi dad.” Aaron looked around, smiling at Vic. “Can I come in and see him?” Aaron nodded and she came over. “How are you?”

“Worried,” Aaron said. “God, I’m so worried.”

“You’re definitely a parent then,” Vic said with a wink. 

“Not everyone starts like this,” Aaron said, looking at his premature son sadly.

“No,” Vic said. “But every parent worries about their children.” She smiled at the fact that Aaron hadn’t stopped touching him the entire time she’d been in the NICU, and watching through the window. “Where’s Rob?”

“That is a bloody good question,” Aaron said, seething. He took in a deep breath, trying to keep calm because shouting wouldn’t help right now.

“Is he not here?”

“No,” Aaron said. “Took one look at him and ran off. I don’t have it in me to call him yet, I’m too angry.”

“Do you want me to have a word?” Vic asked.

“Right now, I’m past caring,” Aaron said bitterly.

“You might be upset, but you don’t mean that,” Vic said, knowing it was true. “He bottles things up sometimes.”

“He wanted this, Vic,” Aaron said. “He pushed me for this, he wanted a child. Now he’s here, it’s like he can’t cope.”

“Aaron, give him a chance,” Vic said. “A premature newborn is a lot, especially with the…” she tailed off uncomfortably.

“Drugs, I know,” Aaron said. “They don’t know exactly what she… the mother took. She signed the adoption paperwork then left the hospital to score.”

“I’m sorry. And you did want this,” Vic said. “You would never have let Robert push you into this if you didn’t want it too.”

“You’re always so calm,” Aaron said. “Voice of reason.” Vic smiled at him, then both of their attention was distracted by the baby slowly curling his hand around Aaron’s index finger. Victoria watched the glow on Aaron’s face and knew he’d be just fine.

“I’ll leave you to it,” Vic said softly. She patted Aaron’s shoulder gently before leaving. “Oh. Congratulations, by the way.”

“Don’t exactly feel like celebrating yet.”

“You will,” Vic said, giving him a last smile. Aaron didn’t take his gaze off of the baby, he couldn’t. He just wished Robert felt the same.

* * *

 

“I went to the hospital,” Vic said tentatively, holding Ellie in her arms, though she was wriggling to get down and play. She was in Robert and Aaron’s house, and Robert was studiously ignoring her while he painted the nursery, wanting to get it finished. “Aaron hasn’t slept, you know?”

“And I have?” Robert asked. So much for ignoring her, Robert thought to himself.

“He needs you.”

“He doesn’t need me,” Robert said, not looking at her. “He’s got so many doctors and machines, you can barely even see him.”

“I meant Aaron,” Vic said gently. “He can’t do this on his own.” Vic gave up fighting with Ellie and put her down. She immediately toddled over to Robert and gripped onto his leg tightly.

“Ro?”

“Hi beautiful,” Robert said, forcing a smile, hating that he was jealous of a perfectly healthy toddler that Victoria hadn’t had to fight tooth and nail for. “This isn’t fair,” Robert said bitterly. “Why is it right that because I fell in love with a man, I don’t get the chance to have children. And after trying for months, years even to finally get here, so close, just so some woman can ruin it. Someone who doesn’t care enough about her child to stop snorting or injecting whatever the hell she wants to to get high. Sod the effect on everyone else!”

“I know, Rob,” Vic said, a hand on his back, feeling the tension there.

“It feels so unfair,” Robert said. “The amount of women who get pregnant by accident or without even trying. And…” Robert sniffed, not wanting to cry. It would be so pathetic.

“Children aren’t perfect, Robert,” Vic said. “Just because it’s not how you thought it would be is no reason to leave Aaron on his own with this.”

“Aa?!” Ellie asked, picking up on the familiar name.

“I know, but looking at him, the baby I mean… he’s so small.”

“He’s your son,” Vic said calmly.

“No, he’s not,” Robert said. “We haven’t signed yet. I had to get out of the hospital and… I didn’t think. We haven’t signed the papers yet.”

“Then sign them,” Vic said. "Make him yours."

“Leave me alone, please,” Robert said, not harshly, but he needed time to think.

“Okay,” she said. “Eleanor!” she called. Ellie looked at her, recognising that tone of voice as Vic scooped her up into her arms. “Say goodbye to Robert.”

“Ro!” she said, waving at him. Robert forced a smile, feeling hollow. Looking at Vic and Ellie, he saw all he wanted for his family. He simply wished it could be easier.


	9. Eyes Open

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the encouragement so far, things are starting to look up here!

It was late in the day when Aaron came home. Liv was hiding in her bedroom, blasting music through her headphones. She hated the atmosphere and she didn’t want to get in the way.

“Robert, you have to be at the hospital,” Aaron said, trying to remain calm as he watched Robert bracing his arms over the sink.

“Well, I can’t do it,” Robert said briefly. “Great for you if you can, but I can’t.”

“I know this is difficult,” Aaron said. “But he’s ours. We can’t leave him with no one.”

“Aaron, I can’t see him,” Robert said bluntly. “He’s two days old, strung out on whatever that woman was taking, crying because he’s in drug withdrawal, and a month early on top of everything else. I can’t see him in that kind of pain. He doesn’t even have a name, he’s in an incubator, we can’t even hold him. What use are we, Aaron?”

“So, this is the kind of father you’re going to be, is it?” Aaron asked, annoyed. He couldn’t do this on his own, and he needed Robert with him, more than he would ever be able to admit. “Backing out whenever things get tough?”

“That’s not fair,” Robert said. It wasn’t that he didn’t care, it was that he cared too much. If their child didn’t get better… he wasn’t sure he’d be able to cope with it. “We haven’t named him, Aaron. It’s like he doesn’t matter.”

“We haven’t decided on a name,” Aaron said, calmer this time. “And we’re not rushing into one because you’re scared he’s going to die. He’ll have to live with his name for the rest of his life, we’ve got to pick the right one.” Robert flinched and Aaron knew he’d hit the nail on the head, Robert was scared he wasn’t going to make it. And to die unnamed felt like it was the same as unloved, at least to Robert.

“By the way… He started breathing on his own today. I wanted you there to see it, Robert.”

“He’s… really?” Robert asked in surprise.

“Come and see him,” Aaron said quietly. “He’s doing better.” He pulled Robert into his arms, holding him close, feeling his breathing catch with emotion. “I won’t make you stay with him if you don’t want to.

“It’s not that I don’t want to,” Robert said into Aaron’s shoulder.

“If you can’t cope with it, then,” Aaron edited. 

“I know he’s ours,” Robert said. “But if it goes badly… he was a month early, Aaron.”

“I know,” Aaron said. “He’ll just have to have both of our stubbornness then, won’t he?” Robert’s lips twitched in a very small smile.

“I’ll come tomorrow,” Robert said. “Promise. It’s late now, I know visiting hours are over.”

“Yeah,” Aaron said. They were, for those who weren’t critical, and luckily their boy wasn’t on that list.

“Come to bed,” Aaron said. “Not like that,” he added, reading the disbelieving look in Robert’s eyes. “We both need sleep. And I want to hold you, Robert. Please.”

“Have you eaten?” Robert asked.

“No, and I can’t. Your phone’s charged, right?”

“Yeah,” Robert said. The hospital would call if there was any change in the baby’s condition, and they could (and would) call to check on him during the night. “Let’s go to bed.”

* * *

They dozed rather than slept deeply, hands on each other in comfort throughout the night. At around two, Aaron called to check on him, then Robert called just before five. By seven in the morning they were both dressed and ready to go back to the hospital, Robert nervous Aaron could tell.

“We’re going to the hospital,” Aaron called to Liv, checking for the third time he had his car keys.

“How is he?”

“No worse,” Aaron said. 

“But no better?” Liv asked.

“We’ll see,” Aaron said. Liv hugged him tightly.

“You all right to get yourself off to school?” Robert asked.

“I’m already in Uni, I don’t have to bother going any more.”

“Liv…”

“Yeah, yeah,” she said. “I know the drill by now. Text me, yeah?”

“We will,” Robert promised.

* * *

 

Aaron knew the way to the baby ward well by now, though it had only been a couple of days. Robert followed half a step behind him, copying his movements but saying nothing. “He’s okay,” Aaron said quietly as he washed his hands outside the NICU. Robert followed his lead, but still didn’t speak.

“How is he?” Aaron asked a tiny blonde nurse he’d come to recognise over the past two days. She smiled at Aaron, her eyes sliding to Robert for a moment before they all looked at the incubator.

“He had a good night,” she said, smiling. “Still breathing on his own and no more seizures.”

“Seizures?” Robert asked with concern, looking to Aaron.

“The after effect of whatever she took,” Aaron said quietly, managing to put his disdain in that simple sentence. Both men looked at the plastic box and Aaron put his hand through instantly, touching his hand.

“You’ve touched him?” Robert asked, hurt that that was a moment he‘d missed out on.

“Yeah, and if you hadn’t run off scared, you would have too,” Aaron said, not feeling a lot of sympathy right now for him. But the look on his face made him relent. Aaron stroked their child’s hand lightly before moving aside so Robert could. He put his hand through and let his long fingers gently touch their son. A slow smile spread on Robert’s face, he couldn’t help it. The blonde nurse had been watching them happily. Sometimes there wasn’t much happiness in the NICU.

“You might be able to hold him today,” she said. Both men turned to face her in surprise, faces almost blank with shock. “If the doctor agrees,” she added.

“Is that likely?” Robert asked.

“Eighty percent,” she said, giving them a small wink. “He really is doing very well, considering. Could do with a name though.”

Robert stared at Aaron pointedly. “We haven’t decided,” Aaron said. “Oh, this is unbelievable.” Robert followed his gaze, looking at the baby. Who’d opened his beautiful blue eyes for the first time.

“That’s typical,” Aaron said. “I’ve been here for days, you walk in, and in minutes he finally opens his eyes. The Robert Sugden charm still works then.”

“Got you, didn’t I?” Robert quipped. Both men smiled at each other, then returned their gaze to their son. “Name, Aaron,” Robert said firmly.

“Nothing feels good enough,” Aaron admitted.

“Am I interrupting?” They both saw Louise, their social worker smiling at them, holding a thick chunk of papers. “Can I have a few minutes?”

“About what?” Aaron asked nervously. “You’re not telling us we can’t have him.”

“No,” she said, still smiling. “I just want your signatures to make it official.”

“Really?” Robert asked. “Then that’s it?”

“Well, you’ll get a few checks when he’s home with you, but essentially yes,” she said. “Then he’ll be yours.”


	10. Benjamin

In the end, it took about an hour to go through all the forms, and sign them, in a private room of the hospital. Louise gave them a copy of the relevant paperwork, grinning at them. Both Aaron and Robert had put their worries about their child on hold, at least knowing that he was now definitely theirs. No going back now. Louise left them alone and Robert turned to Aaron, that serious look on his face.

“Name, Aaron,” Robert said. “I’m sick of calling him “him” or “the baby.” He needs a name.”

“I’ve got two,” Aaron said slowly, nervous in case Robert didn’t like them. “James and Benjamin are the two names I like.” Robert smiled, he liked both of Aaron’s choices, but he thought he probably would. “What are you doing?” Aaron asked as Robert started tapping away on his phone.

“Googling them,” Robert said briefly, not looking at Aaron until he’d finished typing and reading a few minutes later.

“I think Benjamin,” he said quietly. “If that’s okay with you?”

“What made you decide that? You loved Jamie,” Aaron said in surprise. He’d been convinced Robert would pick James.

“Maybe it’s selfish,” Robert said. “Actually, it's definitely selfish. He already has my last name but… The biblical Benjamin was the son of Jacob.”

“I know your middle name, Robert,” Aaron said quietly, smiling at him. “I like the name. Ben.”

“So… Ben it is?”

“Yeah,” Aaron said, grinning at him. “Benjamin it is.” Robert reached across the table and laced his fingers through Aarons gently. 

“I love you. I don’t think I’ve told you that lately.”

“No, you haven‘t,” Aaron said. “I love you too.” They leaned across the table and kissed softly, unable to really remember the last time their lips had touched. So much had happened in the last few days.

“I’ve missed this,” Aaron murmured, kissing him again, loving the taste of him.

“We’ve had a lot going on,” Robert said, kissing him yet again.

“So, middle name?” Aaron asked, smiling cheekily.

“No,” Robert said firmly. “God no. A middle name is nothing but a pain in the arse.” Aaron frowned at him. “I’m thinking practically. Every time you book flights, or apply for anything, or need to update your details, you never know if you need to add your middle name or not. It’s a pain, Aaron. Plus more often than not, online forms don’t have enough spaces for a middle name anyway.”

“Fine, if it means so much to you,” Aaron said, holding his hands up, surprised at his reaction. “So… Benjamin Sugden?”

“Do you like that?” Robert asked. “To me it sounds…”

“Perfect,” Aaron said. “It sounds perfect.” And Robert kissed him again.

* * *

 

“Right, who wants to hold him?” the doctor asked. Robert and Aaron caught eyes and Robert shook his head. “You should,” he said to Aaron. “It should be you first.”

“Robert…”

“No, go on,” he said quietly. Aaron didn’t want to argue too much because the desperation he felt to hold his son couldn’t quite be put into words. He felt acutely aware that there were an awful lot of medical people here, in case something went wrong. The doctor handed Aaron the carefully wrapped bundle and Aaron wasn’t sure if he felt terrified or elated when he finally held his son. He couldn’t stop staring at his face, eyes closed. After a moment, Robert cradled Benjamin’s head gently, both of them touching him. Distantly, they were aware of a nurse taking pictures, but Robert didn’t have the attention to spare. All of his attention was on his husband and his perfect son. Robert couldn’t resist bending over Benjamin and kissing his forehead lightly.

“God, we’ve fought so hard for you,” Robert whispered. 

“Want him?” Aaron asked, unable to stop the happy smile on his face. He was unused to being this… almost joyous.

“Always,” Robert said, smiling as Aaron handed him over, carefully supervised by the nurses. Ben’s eyes opened as Robert took him, unable to stop staring at him. However, Ben’s eyes found Aaron, blinking slowly at him.

“Okay,” the doctor said after what felt like seconds, though it was probably a lot longer. “We have to put him back in the incubator. He can’t regulate his body temperature yet, I’m sorry.” Robert was very reluctant to let him go, even though he knew it was for Ben’s own good. Once Ben was back in the incubator, Robert pulled Aaron into his arms and kissed his shoulder gently. Those few minutes had been incredible, to finally hold their son.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Benjamin really was the son of Jacob in the bible, and after I found that out, I had to use it! Hope you enjoyed this so far.


	11. Dreams

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The first part in italics is the dream sequence, just in case it isn't obvious! Thank you so much for the encouragement on this.

_“That little… can you please tell him to stop taking my engagement ring, it’s not funny any more!”_

_“Liv, leave him alone, he’s five,” Robert said bluntly._

_“As sneaky as his father though,” Liv said. “I can’t wait to see him run rings around the pair of you when he’s a teenager.”_

_“Long way to go yet,” Aaron said, smiling at her from the sofa. “Shouldn’t you be getting dressed? Curling your hair or something else suitably wedding related?”_

_“Someone’s stolen my engagement ring,” Liv said, really annoyed now. “The last time I shower when your son’s around.”_

_“Oi!” Aaron called, seeing their son running around gleefully, all blonde hair and giggles. “Come here.”_

_“I found treasure!”_

_“Give it back,” Aaron said firmly. The boy’s eyes slid to Robert, a cheeky grin on his face. “Er, no, don’t look at him, give it back. Benjamin, now.” The blonde haired boy held out his hand, pouting at Aaron, giving him the ring. “You don’t steal from aunt Livy, okay?”_

_“Don’t steal at all,” Robert put in._

_“Sorry,” he said, not being sorry at all, and both Robert and Aaron knew it. “Liv’s right,” Aaron said with a sigh. “He is going to run rings around us in ten years time.”_

_“Good,” Liv said fervently, taking her engagement ring and putting it back on her finger. “Aren’t you getting ready yet?”_

_“It’ll take us five minutes to get into our suits,” Robert said. “Calm down, we’re not going to be late today.”_

_“Better not be,” she said. “Can’t miss my wedding, can you?”_

_“No, we can’t,” Aaron said, smiling at her._

_“Daddy, I’m hungry,” came the shout._

_“How?” Aaron asked Robert, frowning. “He demolished breakfast.”_

_“They’ll be nothing left in the fridge at this rate,” Robert agreed, smiling at him, all innocent blue eyes. “But no crisps,” he added to Ben. Their son bit his lip, a move he’d learned early on, knowing they‘d give him anything he wanted when he did it, copying Aaron. “No,” Robert said firmly._

_“Fine,” Ben said._

_“I’ve been thinking,” Liv said. “I’m not sure about… you giving me away today.” The raw disappointment on Aaron’s face was clear, and Robert‘s heart lurched for him._

_“Oh. Okay,” Aaron said, determined to make the best of it. He would not ruin Liv’s wedding day for anything._

_“It just doesn’t feel right,” she said. “I want… I want you both to walk me down the aisle. I can’t… choose between you, just one of you? It feels so wrong.”_

_Aaron caught Robert’s eyes, the disappointment replaced with a wary happiness. “Up for it?” Aaron asked him._

_“Yeah,” Robert said, blue eyes sparkling at him. “Course. Can’t let Liv down, can we?”_

_“Thank you,” she said, smiling at Robert. Then she hugged him. Ben gripped their legs, not wanting to be left out. Robert looked down and picked up his son._

_“God, you’re getting heavy,” Robert said, making Ben giggle delightfully._

_“Nah, you’re getting old,” Aaron said, earning a light smack on the shoulder from Robert. “You know your mum will hate this,” Aaron added to Liv._

_“Well, you’re who I want,” Liv said with a shrug. “And she won’t cause a scene today.” Robert felt the happiness almost overflowing._

_“Put me down!” Ben said. Robert did, watching as he ran over to Aaron who was laying on the sofa, jumping on his chest._

_“Watch it, you,” Aaron grumbled easily. Ben started giggling as Aaron tickled him over and over again._

* * *

 

“What’s wrong?” Aaron asked quietly, feeling Robert jerk awake next to him.

“Nothing,” Robert said, staring at the ceiling. That dream had been so clear. He could still remember the joy on Aaron’s face, the silkiness of Ben’s hair under his fingers, the smell of the flowers that had been delivered for the wedding.

“Robert…”

“No, nothing,” he said, firmly this time. “I just had the most wonderful dream. Nothings wrong, it all felt so right.”

“What was it about?” Aaron asked, stroking his arm.

“Our family,” Robert said. “It was… God, it was so wonderful.”

“Was he okay?” Aaron asked, about their son. He was still in the hospital, in an incubator and they were still worried about him, though each day that passed, progress was being made.

“He was perfect,” Robert said. “A cheeky git, stealing stuff from Liv, but… perfect.”

“Good,” Aaron said. He kissed Robert’s cheek gently. “He’ll be okay.”

“Yes,” Robert said firmly. “I think he will be.” He couldn’t explain it, but somehow he felt calmer, more at peace after that dream. The details had been so shockingly clear, in a way he’d never be able to explain to Aaron. Robert curled into Aaron, pulling him close and kissing the back of his neck. It felt so good to hold his husband with the belief that everything would be all right.


	12. Welcome Home

They were distracted from Ben by a rap on the window to the NICU, Liv stood there, grinning.

“What’re you doing here?” Robert asked.

“I told her to come after school,” Aaron said. “Thought it was about time she met her nephew.”

“I’ll leave,” Robert said, knowing only two at a time were allowed, otherwise the NICU would get very overcrowded with all the parents and family of all the children.

“No, I’ll go,” Aaron said. “I need to call mum anyway, I’ve barely filled her in on the essentials. Don’t kill each other,” Aaron added, no seriousness to his voice at all.

“Going all right?” Liv asked as Aaron came out of the room.

“Yeah,” Aaron said, unable to hide the grin on his face. “We’ve held him again today.”

“You look happy,” Liv said, squeezing his hand.

“He’s doing okay,” Aaron said. “Benjamin.”

“Thank God for that, you’ve finally decided on a name,” Liv said. “Can I see him?”

“Go on,” Aaron said. She smiled and went into the room, walking right up to Robert.

“How are you?” she asked.

“Okay,” Robert said. “I think I’ve stopped panicking now. Got past my mini meltdown.”

“Good,” Liv said, looking down into the incubator. “Wow, he’s small.”

“Yeah,” Robert said.

“Got a name though,” Liv said. “Aaron told me.”

“Yeah,” Robert said again, smiling at him.

“Can I hold him?” Liv asked, though she knew it was a long shot.

“No,” Robert said sadly. “Not yet, they don’t want us to hold him too much. You can touch him though.” Liv did as Robert said, smiling as she held Ben’s hand gently.

“He’s got a strong grip,” Liv said quietly.

“Yeah, he does,” Robert said. “Stable now too. You know he’s not replacing you, don’t you?”

“Yes,” she said. “You could never replace me anyway. I’m one of a kind.” She winked and Robert laughed, an arm around her shoulders as they watched the baby.

* * *

**Two weeks later.**

“What?!” Aaron and Robert said at the same time.

“You can take him home,” the doctor repeated. “No episodes of apnea or bradycardia, he’s feeding well, can keep warm on his own, breathing perfectly fine. No reason to keep him here any longer.”

“Seriously?” Robert said, smiling as he watched Aaron cradling Ben.

“I’ll get the discharge papers,” the doctor said, allowing himself a smile. “If you want, he can be home with you tonight.”

“Yes,” Aaron said fervently. He was sick of seeing the hospital, and being at home sounded perfect. Robert stared at Aaron in surprise. They hadn’t expected this so soon. But Ben had put on quite a bit of weight in the last week, and Robert felt so relieved that they could finally take him home. The doctor left to organise the paperwork, leaving them alone.

“We can take him home, Aaron,” Robert said, looking at them both with pleasure. “I’m sure your family’ll want a party.”

“They’ve been brilliant, actually,” Aaron said, looking at Ben. “You have anything to do with that?”

“I did tell them not to crowd us,” Robert said, though insisting and demanding would be more accurate. After initially arguing, Chas had agreed, knowing Robert was right and Aaron wouldn’t have been able to cope with the entire family all at once. While most of the Dingles had turned up at the hospital at some point over the past two weeks, they’d come one at a time, which Aaron had been so grateful for. Diane and Vic had also been to visit a couple of times, which Robert was really pleased about too.

“What do we do when we get him home?” Robert asked.

“Be happy,” Aaron said. “It won’t kill us.” Robert smiled at the memory, just after Gordon‘s trial. How could that time now be a happy memory? _Because it was when you got Aaron back,_ the little voice in his head said.

“You’ve had him for ages,” Robert said. Aaron took the hint and handed Ben over to him.

* * *

“He’s home?” Liv asked, beaming at the car seat, which Aaron put on the kitchen table so they could all look at him while he wasn’t crying.

“No, we got bored of waiting and we stole a different one,” Robert said, smirking at her.

“Oh, you poor thing,” Liv said to Ben, stroking his head as the baby blinked at her. “Stuck with those two as your daddies! Good luck.”

“Oi!” Aaron said. “We can hear you.”

“I’m teasing,” she said, though they all knew it. Liv leaned over the baby and kissed his head. “Not that I’m not pleased you're home, but I’m actually going out.”

“Where?” Aaron asked.

“Out with some friends,” she said. This made both of them more curious rather than less. “Rosie’s just been dumped, so we’re taking her out to cheer her up. That do?”

“Fine. Call if you’re gong to be later than eleven.”

“I will,” she said. “Congratulations.” Both men pulled her into a tight hug, feeling so happy. Liv left the house, leaving the three of them alone.

“What now?” Aaron asked, more than a little nervous.

“Now we get ready for sleepless nights,” Robert said.

“Oh, you’ll be doing those,” Aaron said with conviction.

“Why?”

“You were the one who was desperate for children,” Aaron said easily. “You have to deal with the unpleasant jobs.”

“You love him,” Robert said quietly, with no hesitation.

“You know I do,” Aaron said. Robert pulled him into a deep kiss, the urge to touch him so strong. “I love you,” Aaron said.

“I know,” Robert replied. “Come here.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for the kudos and comments so far. I am loving writing this one more than I thought I would! Hope you enjoyed this. Next up, Chas meets Ben properly!


	13. Chas

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one turned much more serious than I intended, with mild references to Gordon and Aaron's abuse. Hopefully it's still fluffy enough!

  
“Champagne, please,” Robert said as he walked into the pub.

“Robert, it’s nine o’clock in the morning…” Chas started before realising what he was actually saying. “He’s home?” Chas asked. Robert nodded happily. They hadn’t told anyone last night, wanting to spend their first night at home just the three of them. Four if you counted Liv coming home just after midnight. “No champagne until I see him,” Chas said.

“Grab the bottle and follow me,” Robert said, unable to stop the beaming smile on his face. She did, leaving the pub quickly, without even grabbing a jacket.

Robert unlocked their front door, then froze. Aaron lay on the sofa, dozing, with his arms wrapped around Ben who was curled up asleep on Aaron’s chest. Robert put out a hand to stop Chas making any noise and quickly grabbed his phone, taking a picture of this moment. He wanted to remember this. He was aware that Chas was doing a similar thing, smiling at the screen.

“Hey,” Robert said quietly, walking over to him. He kissed Aaron gently, wanting to wake him.

“Mm,” Aaron said into the embrace, turning it passionate very quickly.

“Your mum’s here,” Robert said quietly. That made Aaron’s eyes flicker open and he smiled as he caught Chas’s eye.

“Hi,” Aaron said.

“Got him home then,” Chas said, pleased.

“Finally.”

“Can I hold him?” Chas asked. “Proud grandma here.”

“I thought we weren’t allowed to call you that,” Robert said, frowning as Aaron carefully handed the baby over.

“Yeah, well,” Chas said with a shrug. Through some miracle, handing the baby over hadn’t woken him and Chas sat on the arm chair, rocking her new grandson. She had seen him in the hospital, but it wasn’t quite the same as having him home. With Chas distracted, Robert leaned over Aaron for a proper hello kiss.

“You smell good,” Robert whispered, kissing him again, lips moulding together beautifully.

“Er… I’m still here,” Chas said. They ignored her, though Aaron did sit up, blinking at being woken up so suddenly. “Bad night?” she asked, looking at Aaron.

“He might have had trouble breathing at first, but you’d never know it from his lungs last night,” Aaron said. While Aaron had teased Robert about the night feeds, it turned out that Robert was such a heavy sleeper that Ben’s crying didn’t wake him. Yet, anyway.

“How do you feel?” Chas asked her son as Robert stuck the kettle on.

“Weird,” Aaron said. “I can’t really describe it. Happy. Tired.”

“Yeah, get used to that,” Chas said, making Robert smile. “How many times did he wake you?” Chas asked.

“Three? No, four,” Aaron said, fighting a yawn.

“Go to bed,” Robert said to Aaron, putting Chas’s tea on the coffee table.

“Yeah, I think I will,” Aaron said. He leant over Ben and kissed his forehead gently, smiling at Chas.

“I’m proud of you,” Chas said quietly, smiling at Aaron.

“I’m knackered,” he said, kissing Robert briefly before going to the bedroom to get some sleep.  
Robert sat on the sofa, watching Chas and Ben. His hands itched to take the baby from her but he resisted. Barring doctors, only Aaron, Robert and Liv had ever held him.

“He’s beautiful,” Chas said, smiling at him.

“Well… he’ll do,” Robert said, though his voice was so warm Chas couldn’t take it offensively.

“I wanted to talk to you, actually,” Chas said, taking her eyes off Ben for the first time in minutes. “You know, you’re not who I would have picked. For Aaron, I mean.”

“Look, I’m really happy right now, if you’re just going to ruin it, at least wait a couple of weeks,” Robert said. “I know you don’t like me. You never have.”

“Just… let me speak before you jump down my throat, okay?” Chas said, glaring at him. “I wouldn’t have chosen you, for the family. I thought all you’d do is hurt him, over and over again.”

“There better be a but here,” Robert said, not liking the start of this conversation, feeling like he should instantly take Ben back into the safety of his own arms.

“I’m so glad he has you,” Chas said. “I don’t know what kind of son I’d have right now if you hadn’t come into his life.” He knew perfectly well Chas was referring to Gordon, and the trial, just not saying the words.

“He’d have been just fine,” Robert said surely.

“No, he wouldn’t,” Chas said. “I know how much he needs you.”

“Could have done with this revelation a few years ago,” Robert said sternly. “Like when you were convincing him to ditch me before our wedding.”

“Well,” she said with a small shrug. “Better late than never.”

“Aaron would have been fine without me,” Robert said again. “He is the strongest person I have ever met. And he would have been fine. I can’t…” Robert took a deep breath and tried again. “I can’t tell you how lucky I felt when he gave me a second chance, Chas.”

“I didn’t get why he did at the time,” she said. “I think… now it’s been a few years I can see how much you did for him back then. I was too close to it, to desperate to protect him. And I felt so guilty for leaving him… to _that_. It would have been easy for you to walk away from him, when he told you the truth.”

“No,” Robert said firmly. “Walking away was the last thing I felt like doing. All I wanted to do was hold him and make it better, when I couldn’t.”

“You did make it better,” Chas said. “And now I can admit it.”

“Thank you,” Robert said sincerely. He’d given up waiting for Chas’s approval, so to get it so unexpectedly did mean a lot to him.

“Thank you, for the name,” Chas said, smiling back at the baby. “Keeping it… the Dingle tradition. It means a lot to the family. Raised your standing by a peg or two with Cain and all.”

“All Aaron,” Robert said, smiling. “You know he’s Sugden, right?”

“Yeah,” Chas said. “Can’t win them all.” But she winked and Robert knew she was joking.


	14. Grandma Number Two

Robert had left Aaron sleeping, leaving him a note that said he’d gone out for a walk with Benjamin. The truth was he wanted to see Diane, and it was a nice day, so he sat outside the café, waiting for her to show up, after calling her not half an hour before. Happy as they all were, it really was a little early for champagne, so Robert had put it in the fridge, choosing coffee instead. Ben was asleep in his sling, on Robert’s chest, and for the first time in his life, Robert couldn’t remember feeling this content and at peace. His son was in his arms, his husband was asleep at home in their bed, the sun was shining and he had nothing (right now) to worry about.

“Here we are,” Bob said, bringing his coffee over, smiling at him with the baby. “How are you?”  
Robert recognised that it wasn’t interfering, more curiosity. Yes, the village was full of gossips, but it had taken Robert a long time to realise that it was all well meant, and mostly people would want the best for you.

“We’re all great,” Robert said. “Thanks Bob.”

“Overwhelmed?” he asked, knowingly.

“A little,” Robert admitted. It had taken years, but he accepted that admitting his own faults wasn’t the end of the world.

“Hiya pet,” Diane said, walking over to him. “Pot of tea please, Bob,” she added, sitting opposite Robert. Bob left to get it, leaving Diane smiling at the bundle. “How is he?”

“Perfect,” Robert said, smiling down at Ben. Robert’s large hand cradled the back of Ben’s head, almost swamping him, but he didn’t care. He loved holding his son, and he didn’t know when the novelty would ever wear off. “We’re all perfect.”

“Aaron not around?” Diane asked, not taking her eyes off the little face peeping out of the sling.

“Sleeping,” Robert said. “He got up with him a lot in the night, so I left him in bed. When Ben wakes, I‘ll give him to you.”

“I’d love to hold him,” Diane said. “Need my grandma duties don’t I?” She gave Robert a wink and he laughed, grabbing his coffee. He took a sip before returning his hands to Ben, feeling the need to touch him.

“Fatherhood suits you,” Diane said, smiling at him and the way he cradled Benjamin so lovingly.

“Oh, Diane,” Robert said, shaking his head at the softness in her voice.

“It does!” she said honestly. “Jack’d be proud of you.”

The smile fell from Robert’s face instantly, now feeling cold. “No, he wouldn’t.”

“He would,” she repeated. “So proud.”

“He wouldn’t like it,” Robert said. “Me being married to a man, adopting a child that’s not ours. He was too old fashioned, he would have been disappointed in me.”

“Well, if he had, I’d have just slapped some sense into him,” Diane said, making Robert laugh briefly, because he could imagine that. “I’m not saying it wouldn’t have taken some getting used to for him,” Diane continued. “It would have. But to see you like this? He would have been so proud of you, Robert.”

For some unknown reason, Robert felt tears pricking the back of his eyes, and he didn’t want to cry at the memory of his father. Not now, when he was so happy. “Oh, there we are,” Robert said, Ben finally opening his eyes, staring at Robert. “Want to go to grandma?”

“Yes please,” Diane said, smiling as Bob brought her tea over. They shifted so Diane could hold him, her face breaking out into a smile over the newborn.

“He’s gorgeous,” she said, stroking the top of his head gently. “Oh, you’re going to be so spoilt.”

“Tell me about it,” Robert said fervently. “I think Liv and him are going to gang up on Aaron and me  at some point down the line!”

“That sounds fun,” Diane said, making Robert smile. Robert enjoyed the calm happy look on his step mothers face as he looked at the bundle. He had wondered if it would matter than Ben wasn’t genetically theirs. It didn’t matter to him and Aaron, but Robert had been concerned about the wider family’s reaction, thinking it might take them some time. But so far, it hadn’t. Chas and Diane, Vic and Liv, they’d all instantly treated him like Ben was one of them. No time required. Even Cain and Moira had visited them in hospital, and Cain hadn’t treated Ben or Aaron any differently. It was wonderful to experience.

“God, I want him back,” Robert said, making no effort to move though, knowing it was selfish.

“I’ve only just got him!” Diane said. “You’ve had him for weeks!”

“I know,” Robert said. “I’m… almost surprised at how much I love him. So quickly, I… it’s silly.”

“He’s yours,” Diane said simply. “It’s not silly.”

“Hi!” They both turned to see Vic and Adam approaching them, Ellie walking next to them. “Oh, he’s absolutely gorgeous,” Victoria said, smiling at him.

“Nah, Robert doesn’t need a bigger head,” Adam said, laughing.

“Ha ha,” Robert said sarcastically.

“Where’s Aaron?” Vic asked.

“Left him in bed.”

“Oh, shouldn’t have asked,” Adam said easily.

“Sleeping,” Robert elaborated. “He screamed a bit last night.”

“Aaron or Ben?” Vic asked, grinning at him. Robert smiled back, he couldn’t help it. He felt so happy. Half of him was almost expecting something dreadful to happen now because he’d never been this happy for so long before. Ben started fussing, mewling a little and Robert held out his hands.

“Give him back,” he said quietly. Diane did, and Robert took him, murmuring to him. “Sh, sh, sh,” Robert said. “Come on, gorgeous, you don’t need feeding, I did you at home. Sh, sh I got you…” Robert kept cooing over him until he quietened. Then he looked up at Adam, Vic and Diane, all of whom were looking at him like he’d grown a second head. “What?” he asked, staring at the three of them.

“Never thought I’d see the day,” Adam said.

“Leave him alone,” Diane said. “It’s sweet.”

“I am not sweet,” Robert said through gritted teeth.

“You are,” Vic agreed, kissing Ben’s head before calls of “mummy!” brought her attention back to Ellie, tugging her hand. “See you later,” Vic said, her and Adam leaving. Robert was still rocking Ben gently.

“I don’t want people think I’m going soft,” Robert said to Diane.

“Wouldn’t worry about that,” Diane said. “No one would think that of you.”

“Good.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I'm repeating myself, but thank you so much for the comments and Kudos, they're the only reason I seem to be managing two chapters a day at the moment! Hope sweet Robert was enjoyed! x


	15. Dada

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> From this point on, the chapters won't be in chronological order. In this one, Ben's a year old, but I'm going to jump around the time line a bit in future chapters. This makes it easier for me to write little snap shots into their family life, so I hope no one minds! Also taking suggestions for family moments if anyone wants to see something. Enjoy!

“Ben, give that here, please,” Aaron said with his stern voice. Ben grinned at Aaron, then stuck his tongue out, shaking his head and toddling off. In shock, Aaron looked at Robert. “I didn’t teach him that,” Aaron said.

“Well, neither did I,” Robert said, as surprised as Aaron.

“He didn’t suddenly start doing it, Robert,” Aaron said. Both of them became aware of Liv, hiding behind her magazine at exactly the same moment.

“Liv…” Aaron said lowly.

“What?” she said innocently, but she was blushing.

“Did you teach our son to poke his tongue out at us?” Robert said, chipping in.

“I just… um… yeah, I might have done,” Liv said, unable to deny it when both Robert and Aaron were staring her down. “I was on the phone, I didn’t realise he was copying me,” she said in her defence. “And then when I did, it was too cute to stop. So yeah.”

“Liv, he’ll never stop doing that now,” Robert said, rubbing his hand over his face in agitation.

“Oh, come on,” she said. “He’s a year old now, I’m sure he’ll get into all sorts of trouble.”

“Great, thanks for that,” Robert said as Aaron got up, chasing after Ben who seemed to be making a beeline for a pair of scissors.

“No,” Aaron said firmly, taking them from Ben‘s hand. He looked like he might cry for a moment, until Liv chucked a rattle to Aaron to distract him. It worked, Ben starting to chew on it happily.

“Have you taught him anything else?” Robert asked.

“Not that I can remember,” Liv said. “He likes cool Aunt Liv, don’t you Ben?” He perked up at his name, then Liv poked her tongue out. Ben giggled and copied her. “You’re not seriously telling me that isn’t cute?” Liv asked.

“Well..”

“Don’t encourage her, Robert,” Aaron said firmly. But all three of them knew it was really adorable, even if the two men wouldn’t admit it.

“Right, I’ll get dinner on shall I?” Robert said, changing the subject and going through to the kitchen.

“Dada.” All three of them turned to stare at Ben. He had never said that before. He often said “Ba ba” for bye but he’d never, ever said that.

“Wh… which one of us is he speaking to?” Robert asked, heart in his throat. As if answering the question, Ben said it again. “Dada,” walking towards Aaron, arms up, asking to be carried. Aaron did, the joy at being called “dada” marred by the fact Robert hadn’t been. He knew Robert would be absolutely gutted.

“I’m sorry,” Aaron said, catching Robert’s eye as he held their son, stroking his blonde hair gently.

“It’s fine,” he lied, turning away from them to the kitchen. He didn’t want Aaron to see the disappointment there, because this was a good moment.

“He knows who you are, Robert,” Aaron said firmly, not letting it go.

“I know,” Robert said, not wanting to cry over something so trivial, especially in front of Aaron. “It’ll come,” he said, swallowing against the lump in his throat. Aaron let Robert distract himself in the kitchen, gaze going to Liv. He could hardly be disappointed that their son had called him “dada” but there was a bittersweet note to it. She could see the problem too, how to be happy when Robert wasn’t. Aaron gave Ben to Liv who started playing with him, wondering if this problem would happen if Ben was biologically theirs. It wasn’t something that usually even entered his head, because Ben _was_ their son. Babies always called one parent first, someone had to be first. It was just usually mum or dad. With two dads it got confusing, but Ben had clearly said it for him, not Robert.

“I need some air,” Aaron said decidedly, wanting to get out of the tense atmosphere. Robert and Liv let him go, and when they were alone, Liv turned to Robert.

“Don’t blame him,” she said quickly. “And don’t make Aaron feel guilty.”

“I know,” Robert said. “Just wish it was for me. As well, not instead of Aaron.”

“It will be,” Liv said. “Won’t it Ben?” His only reaction was to blink at Liv. “Anyway,” Liv said to Robert. “It’s good, isn’t it? The doctors warned that he could have slow development because of the overdose when he was born. So this is good.”

“Yeah,” Robert said, forcing a smile. “It is, you’re right Liv. I know.”

“What can I do?”

“Follow Aaron,” Robert said. “Make sure he isn’t feeling too guilty. This is good.” He winked at her and she took the point, putting Ben on the floor. He walked over to Robert, grabbing his leg tightly.

“Dada.” Ben looked up at him, grinning and Liv breathed an internal sigh of relief. Robert picked him up, beaming at him.

“You, my boy,” Robert said, tapping his finger against Ben’s nose gently making him giggle. “Have perfect timing.”

“I’ll find Aaron,” Liv said, grinning at him. But Robert didn't have eyes for her, he couldn't stop looking at his laughing son.


	16. Another Sugden In Town

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the continued encouragement on this, it means the world to me. I can't say thank you enough! Enjoy x

“Daddy… wake up.”

“No, it’s too early,” Robert groaned, ignoring the heavy child on his chest. “Go back to bed, Ben.”

“But it’s my birthday!” Ben said in a shrill voice that had Robert amazed Aaron was still sleeping through it.

“Is it?” Robert said. “No, surely I would have remembered that.”

“Daddy!” Ben giggled, knowing he was teasing.

“Go and bother your other dad,” Robert said, smiling at him none the less as he closed his eyes, feigning sleep for a moment.

“Daddy!” Ben tried again, this time on the other side of the bed. Robert knew perfectly well Aaron was awake, because he couldn’t hide the smile on his face, though his eyes were shut.

“What do you want, trouble?” Aaron grumbled, arms wrapping around his son comfortingly anyway.

“I’m four!” Ben looked at his hand with focus, then held out four fingers in illustration.

“Are you?” Aaron asked. “Imagine that.”

“Dad!”

“Come here.” Aaron started tickling him, making Ben’s infectious laughter fill the bedroom, making Robert smile at the pair of them.

“Presents?” Ben asked, blinking at them hopefully.

“As you’re a whole four years old, I guess we could do presents,” Robert said, giving him a wink and grinning.

“Yay!” Ben said, scrambling off the bed to the living room. Robert smiled at him go, getting up and throwing some clothes on as Aaron followed suit. They quickly went through to the living room finding Ben buzzing with energy as he sat in front of his pile of presents, itching to open them. They both smiled at his restraint, their son knowing the rule that he couldn’t open them until his parents were there.

“You’re a good boy,” Robert said, ruffling his hair gently. “You can open them.” Ben grinned widely and started attacking the wrapping paper with the speed and energy of a four year old hurricane.

“Tea?” Aaron asked, needing something to give him a kick start and get him awake. Robert nodded in agreement as Aaron busied himself with the kettle.

“Oh wow!” Ben said with the single minded innocence as he opened a lego dinosaur. Aaron smiled at his reaction

“I’ve actually got something for you,” Aaron said, not looking at Robert as he fiddled with their tea bags. Robert could instantly see he was nervous, and wondered what on earth would give him this reaction. They’d been married for more than seven years, surely he knew that Robert wouldn’t take anything badly by now.

“Stop twitching and tell me,” Robert said. Aaron caught his eye and smiled at how well Robert knew him. Aaron bit his lip and opened the kitchen drawer, handing Robert a brown A4 envelope. He frowned slightly, but opened it, taking a few moments to understand what he was reading.

“What d’you think?” Aaron asked, unable to bear the silence for longer than necessary, though it had only been a few seconds, it felt like longer.

Robert put the papers back in the envelope and turned to Aaron in surprise. “You said you didn’t want to take my name,” he reminded him gently.

“I know I said that,” Aaron said. “I’ve changed my mind. If… it’s what you want?”

“You know I wanted that,” Robert said. He had. When they’d decided to get married, Aaron had made it clear that he was keeping his own name. Robert hadn’t liked it, but he’d relented as soon as Aaron had asked if Robert would consider changing his name to Dingle. Because they both knew that wasn’t happening, Robert had quickly dropped it. And in the end, whatever name Aaron had wasn’t as important as the fact that they were finally married and Aaron was his husband. It was rarely brought up again, because in the end, it wasn’t important.

“Why’ve you changed your mind?” Robert asked, genuinely curious.

“This is so good!” Ben called from the living room floor, lost in a sea of wrapping paper.

“It’s him, isn’t it?” Robert asked, nodding in Ben's direction.

“It’s us,” Aaron corrected. “We’re a family, and the more time goes by, the more it feels wrong that I don’t share your name, or his. It was right at the time, for me to stay a Dingle. It doesn’t feel that way anymore. If you’re okay with it.”

“If I’m okay with it?” Robert asked in disbelief. His only answer was to kiss Aaron deeply, smiling into it as Aaron’s hands settled on his waist. Robert slid a hand down his body and squeezed his arse, instantly wanting him. How could that still be possible after all this time?

“That’s a yes, then?” Aaron asked, grinning at him.

“Definitely,” Robert said, almost sinking into a hug with him. “Thank you.”

“Dad?” Ben questioned quietly from the floor, realising that their attention wasn’t on him. Aaron broke apart from Robert and smiled at Ben.

“Go on,” Aaron said, walking over to him. “Can’t keep the birthday boy waiting, can we?” Robert smiled, watching Aaron start play fighting with Ben, the squealing and laughter becoming infectious.

“God, I love you,” Robert said to Aaron. He smiled at Robert before Ben’s squealing caught his attention again and he continued laughing with their son.


	17. A Night Out

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In this chapter, Ben is a three months old or so. Hope you enjoy and thank you once again for commenting, reading and leaving Kudos! It means so much.

“Right, we’ll be back by eleven,” Robert said, hands to his pockets checking for his keys and his phone.

“We’ll be fine,” Chas said. “Won’t we Ben?”

“Gah?” Ben gurgled. Robert looked at the pair of them and Aaron could tell he was questioning the wisdom of leaving their son with Chas for a night. 

“We’re going out,” Aaron said firmly to Robert. “Mum can handle him for a few hours, Robert.”

“Yeah, I know,” Robert said, but he still stared at the baby, reluctant to leave him.

“Would you like me to call Diane in case you think I can’t cope?” Chas snapped, well and truly rattled by Robert’s reaction.

“No, of course not,” Robert said. “I’m being stupid. We’ve just never left him with anyone before.”

“I have both your phone numbers, he will be fine. So go.”

“Come on, tonight‘s special,” Aaron said. “We are celebrating.”

“Celebrating what?” Chas asked.

“Anniversary,” Robert said briefly.

“It’s December, you got married in June,” Chas said, frowning at them. Then she realised, counting backwards and looking at Aaron who couldn’t quite meet her eyes. “Oh, right, okay then,” she said, raised eyebrows saying more than words could. Robert couldn’t help the grin on his face at her reaction.

“Go,” Chas said firmly. “Or I’ll change my mind and say I can’t look after him tonight.”

“We’re going,” Robert said, Aaron leaning over Ben and kissing him goodbye. Robert followed his lead, leaving the pub before Chas turned to the baby.

“Poor you,” Chas said to Ben, stroking his head lightly. “With those two as your parents, you’ve got no hope.”

“Buh?”

“Oh sweetheart,” Chas said, falling in love with those beautiful blue eyes every time she saw them.

* * *

 

“I love him, but God it’s been good to have a night to ourselves,” Aaron said in the taxi, on the way back home. “No crying, no late night feeds. Just me and you.”

“I know what you mean,” Robert said, lacing his hand through Aaron‘s gently. “How d’you think Chas has got on?”

“Fine,” Aaron said. “She’ll be fine.”

“But…”

“The other option is he’s just spent the last five hours screaming, Robert,” Aaron suggested easily. “Can’t change it now, either way we’ll be home soon.”

“I love you,” Robert said quietly. Aaron smiled at him before shifting in the cab, resting his head on Robert’s shoulder as he stroked his hair gently.

“I love our life together,” Aaron said quietly, not moving so he couldn’t look at him. Robert recognised a rare admission when Aaron made one and he felt a warm glow inside at Aaron’s words. “Thank you for talking me into it. Ben. I wouldn’t…”

“I know,” Robert said, cutting him off before they lapsed into a comfortable silence. The car pulled up outside the pub and Aaron paid the bill before they got out into the cold night air. “We could always go home before picking up Ben…” Robert suggested, a small smirk on his face.

“No, we can’t,” Aaron said. “You know we’ve got to pick him up.”

“Never hurts to suggest it though,” Robert said. He pulled Aaron into a tight hug, kissing his neck in a way which really was too intimate for the middle of the street. Lucky it was dark.

“Come on,” Aaron muttered, heading towards the back room of the pub. The sound that greeted them was Ben crying at the top of his lungs.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” Aaron cooed, moving past Chas and picking up Ben, trying to calm him. “Oh, gorgeous, it’s all right.”

“He heard you coming,” Chas said over Ben’s crying. “He was fine until he heard your voices. Good as gold.”

“I’m sure,” Robert said, smiling as Aaron calmed their son relatively quickly.

“There we go,” Aaron whispered, still rocking him, trying to get him to drift off to sleep. “Seriously, how’s he been?” Aaron asked.

“Fine,” Chas said. “Barely made a sound. I even got to watch some of my telly. He was better behaved than you used to be anyway. Had a good night?”

“Yeah,” Robert said, eyes catching Aaron’s. “We had a great night.”

“Terrible film, though,” Aaron said. “That was a complete waste of money.”

“The point wasn’t the film, Aaron,” Robert said. “The point was to…”

“What, get cosy in the back row?” Chas suggested unable to stop grinning at them. Robert caught Aaron’s eyes for a moment, laughing when Aaron bit his lip, neither of them answering her.

“Let’s get him home,” Aaron said, avoiding the subject.

“Yeah,” Robert said. “Thanks Chas.” Robert grabbed Ben’s blanket, wanting to keep him wrapped up against the frigid winter air. They’d walked down, knowing they would have a drink tonight so they were sure to keep him warm on the way back to the house.

“Give him here,” Robert said as they left the Woolpack. Aaron did, smiling when Ben gave Robert a gorgeous grin that they could just about see under the dim street lighting in the village. They'd had such a good night, going home with his family felt like the best gift in the world to Aaron. And looking at Robert's eyes, he knew his husband felt the same.

 


	18. Crying

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you again for all the kudos and comments. Ben's about 6 weeks old in this one, and while it's not exactly happy, hope it's realistic. Enjoy and let me know what you think! Thanks x

 

It was the fifth hour of constant crying that had Aaron cracking under the strain. Robert had gone back to work a couple of weeks ago and today was the first time he’d gone on all day meetings. Which left Aaron at home with Ben who hadn’t stopped crying in hours, about twenty minutes after Robert left the house. Aaron had no idea what he wanted, he’d been fed, changed and he’d slept well the night before. Which left Aaron metaphorically tearing his hear out. “How can I be so useless?” Aaron said to himself, barely able to hear it over Ben’s crying.

In desperation, needing Ben to calm down more than he hated admitting he couldn’t cope, he called Vic.

“What?” she said, answering the phone.

“I need help,” Aaron said desperately. “Ben won’t stop crying, I don’t know what to do. Please tell me you have some brilliant advice for me.”

“I’ll be over in five minutes,” Vic said, much to Aaron’s relief. He felt so disappointed in himself, that he couldn’t calm his crying child. So much so that he had to call Vic for some help. What a pathetic excuse for a father was he? If he wasn’t so frustrated, he’d have ended up crying. But Ben was doing enough of that for the both of them.

Vic was true to her word and opened the door without knocking a few minutes later.

“Hi,” she said, before following the racket to Ben’s nursery. Aaron watched from the doorway as she picked up the wriggling crying baby with confidence, jiggling him up and down, trying to get him to calm down. For a few minutes there was no effect, just continuous crying. Then, finally, his cries dies down. A few more minutes and he closed his eyes. Aaron breathed a sigh of relief, feeling simultaneously grateful and completely useless. Vic put him down, waiting another couple of minutes just to make sure he really had drifted off, then they both went through to the kitchen.

“I am completely useless,” Aaron said, going through the motions of making Vic a cup of tea.

“You’re not useless,” Vic said.

“He hates me,” Aaron said.

“Of course he doesn’t, he loves you,” Vic said gently.

“He barely knows me.”

“So why is my brother jealous that Ben only smiles for you?” Vic asked. Aaron had a tiny rueful smile over the tea he was making. That was true. Ben hadn’t smiled much, but when he did it had been exclusively for Aaron. Robert was pretending he wasn’t jealous, but clearly Vic saw straight through that.

“How come you got him off to sleep so quickly?”

“He knows you’re nervous,” Vic said. “He can sense it when you’re stressed, all babies can.” Aaron heaved a sigh, sitting opposite Vic.

“I don’t know what I’m doing,” Aaron said. “I was insane to ever think this was a good idea. That Robert and I could cope”

“Okay,” Vic said. “If the social worker turned up now, telling you that you had to give him back, would you?”

“Of course I wouldn’t,” Aaron said instantly. “You know that. Don’t even joke about it.”

“Well then,” Vic said, like it was settled. She saw the apprehension on his face so she continued. “You’re doing great,” she said Aaron scoffed.

“My son won’t stop screaming, and you calm him down in minutes. Yeah, feels like I’m right on top of things.”

“I spent the first six months of Ellie’s life tearing my hair out and crying over what a useless mother I was,” Vic said. “You are doing fine.”

“I’m hopeless, Vic,” Aaron said, shaking his head over his tea.

“Want to know something?”

“Go on,” Aaron said. “I don’t think anything could currently make me feel worse.”

“Robert’s not got fatherhood down instantly either,” Vic said. “He’s knocked on my door for help more than once. And some TLC.”

“Really?”

“Yeah,” Vic said. “Usually when you’re on a scrap run. He made me promise not to tell you. And the words "useless" and "hopeless" might have come up then and all.”

“Robert always seems so… he always knows what he’s doing with Ben.”

“Come on,” Vic said. “I love my brother, but you know he’s all bluster and front when he wants to be. And he probably doesn’t want you to think he‘s struggling either.”

“When we’re both here, home, he’s fine,” Aaron said. “Ben doesn’t make a sound.”

“You’re probably less stressed, so he doesn’t pick up on it and cause problems.”

“You have got to stop being so clever,” Aaron said, making her smile. “You always put things into perspective.”

“That’s my job,” she said. “You’re my friend, as well as my brother in law. And that‘s my nephew in there.”

“Mm,” Aaron said reluctantly. “Thanks for coming when I called. Where’s Ellie?”

“With Adam,” Vic said briefly. “Probably driving him up the wall. Kids do that, you know.”

“Thanks.” Aaron squeezed her hand gently and not much else was said. Vic finished her tea and left Ben and Aaron alone, thankfully the former still asleep. Aaron closed his eyes, hoping to at least get a doze in while Ben was quiet.

* * *

 “Hi, I’m on my way home,” Robert said, calling Aaron. “How’s your day been?”

“Fine,” Aaron settled on. “We’ve been fine.”

“Good,” Robert said. “I’ve missed him.”

“Glad to know I made an impression on you,” Aaron said sarcastically.

“And you,” Robert added quickly. “You know I miss you. I always do.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Aaron said, smiling anyway. “Love you.”

“What’s wrong?” Robert asked after a beat of silence. Aaron rarely offered those words first, and never on the phone.

“Nothing,” Aaron said. “Ben just… had a bit of a screaming fit earlier, but it’s sorted. Vic gave me a hand.”

“Not bad is she, our Vic?” Robert said.

“She’s amazing,” Aaron said.

“And I love you too, by the way,” Robert said. “I’ll be home soon.”

“Can’t wait to see you,” Aaron said honestly. What with one thing and another, it had felt like a rough day.

“Was he that bad?” Robert asked, easily reading what Aaron was really saying.

“Loud, lets leave it at that,” Aaron said. “I’m going to hang up so you can drive.”

“Okay,” Robert said. “You’re doing great with him.”

“Yeah.” But it was unconvincing even to Aaron’s own ears.

“I mean it,” Robert said. “You’re a great father.” Aaron couldn’t take much of that, he’d get too emotional, so he tried to clear his throat.

“I love you,” he repeated.

“Bye,” Robert said, voice warm. Aaron put the phone down and sighed. After today he needed Robert in a way he couldn’t quite explain. It seemed like everything would be alright when he had Robert back in his arms.


	19. Nightmare

“No, please…” Aaron moaned. Then he screamed in his sleep, waking everyone in the house up. “Leave me alone! Please!” Robert looked to his right, seeing his husband thrashing around in agony.

“Come on, wake up,” Robert said, instantly trying to bring Aaron out of his dream. Robert tapped his face lightly, trying to wake him.

“What’s going on?” Liv said sleepily from the doorway, Aaron’s scream clearly having woken her.

“Liv, can you get Ben please?” Robert said, not taking his eyes off of Aaron, though he could hear the baby crying. Robert had to deal with one at a time.

“Aaron, I need you to look at me,” Robert said firmly. He’d stopped shouting, but was breathing like he’d just run a couple of miles. “Look at me. Open your eyes.”

“I’m here,” Aaron breathed.

“Sure?” Robert asked.

“Yeah, I’m awake.”

“Talk to me,” Robert said, trying to hide his desperation. Aaron hadn’t had any nightmares about Gordon in years, but ever since Ben had been born, the upswing in his nightmares had been dramatic. Even if he lied, Robert knew something was wrong. He was also aware that Liv would be listening from down the hall, Ben’s crying having died down a little.

“I don’t understand,” Aaron said, almost whimpered, clearly still in pain from the images running through his head.

“Understand what?”

“I love Ben,” Aaron said. “You know that, don’t you.”

“Of course I do,” Robert reassured him, gripping his hand tightly. “You don’t have to tell me that.”

“It’s just… I don’t understand, Robert,” he sobbed.

“I need more words, Aaron,” Robert said, desperately trying to help him.

“I love him more than I thought I ever would,” Aaron said. “And I don’t get it. If… my father ever felt this way about me, how he could he hurt me the way he did?”

There was a pause as Robert absorbed those words. “I don’t know,” Robert said, feeling the last few weeks snap into focus and suddenly make sense. Of course part of Aaron’s mind would be thinking about his father, now he’d so recently become a father himself.

“I’m never going to be free of it, am I?” Aaron asked, staring at the ceiling. “How could he do it?”

“All I can say… he never loved you the way we love Ben. That’s all I’ve got Aaron.”

“I’d do anything to protect Ben, keep him safe. I don’t understand why…”

“You are nothing like him,” Robert said firmly, correctly reading his silence.

“But…”

“No,” Robert said firmly. “I will tell you every day for the rest of our lives if you need to hear it. You are nothing like him. Nothing.”

“Okay,” Aaron breathed. “I need him.” Recognising the soft tone of his voice, almost in desperation, Robert got up and found Liv cradling Ben.

“Is he all right?” Liv asked darkly.

“He will be,” Robert said. “Go back to sleep.” Liv bit her lip, not moving. Robert held Ben against his chest so he had one hand free to ruffle her hair, which she hated but allowed him to do. “Aaron will be fine. Go to bed.” She nodded and did, Robert returning to Aaron and handing him their son. Aaron calmed down as soon as his hands were filled with their child. Liv had more or less got him off to sleep so Aaron just rocked him, watching the beautiful innocence of his sleeping face.

Ten minutes later, Ben was back in the nursery and Aaron was calm as he lay back in bed. “Okay?” Robert asked. Aaron nodded, and pulled Robert to him, wrapping his arms tightly around his husband.

“I’m okay now,” Aaron said. “Sorry for waking you up.”

“Don’t be stupid,” Robert said. “It’s fine.”

“Love you,” Aaron murmured, kissing his neck gently.

“I know,” Robert said. “Try and sleep.” Robert stroked his skin gently, across his back and shoulders comfortingly until Aaron slowly slipped into sleep. Robert sighed as he watched him, wondering if Aaron would ever be free of the torments of his past. Probably not, but all Robert could do was be there for him when his nightmares took hold. Something he intended to do for the rest of his life.


	20. Playgroup

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not totally forgotten about this one! Was waiting for inspiration, thank you so much for being patient. Hope you enjoy this chapter despite the long wait. Ben's about 4 here.

Benjamin and Aaron came home and Robert looked up in shock as Ben ran to his bedroom.

“What’ve I missed?” Robert asked, getting up from the sofa.

“No idea,” Aaron said, hanging his car keys up. “He’s been like this ever since I picked him up from playgroup. He won’t tell me what’s wrong.”

“So you ignored it?” Robert asked, frustrated.

“No, of course I didn’t, Robert,” Aaron said, frowning at him. “But I can’t force him to talk, can I?”

“No, sorry,” Robert said, sensing the sore subject. He knew Aaron wouldn’t ignore a problem with their son. Robert kissed him briefly, and Aaron responded eagerly, needing the usual welcome home greeting. “Come on,” Robert said, leading the way to Ben’s bedroom. They found him curled up on the bed, hiding under the blanket. Robert sighed, taking the lead and sitting next to him.

“Want to tell me what’s wrong?” Robert said, a hand on Ben’s back.

“No,” came the muffled reply.

“Want chips for tea?” Robert asked. That made Ben’s face pop out of the blanket, eyes eager but he’d so obviously been crying, a sight which froze Robert to the core.

“Yes,” Ben said, sniffing.

“You can have chips, but first tell me what’s wrong,” Robert said. Aaron sat on Ben’s other side, watching as Ben removed the blanket, curling up to Robert. Aaron wasn’t hurt, he knew Robert did better with problems than he did.

“Lucy and Joe were making fun of me,” he said, sniffing.

“Okay,” Robert said neutrally, stroking Ben’s hair. “What did they say?”

“They said I was a weirdo for having two dads.” Robert looked up at Aaron sadly. They had both expected something like this to happen one day, because the world could be a cruel place. Ben was far too young to know that though. “Why can’t I be normal?”

“Ben,” Robert said calmly, an arm around his son, seeing Aaron breaking apart next to him, not looking at either himself or Ben. “You have two parents who love you so much. We waited years for you to come along into our lives. They’re only teasing you because you’re a little different. You’re so special.”

“I am?” Ben asked, sniffing and rubbing his eyes.

“Oh yeah. Super special,” Aaron said, winking at him, making Ben smile a little bit. “You have so many people who think you’re amazing! Aunt Livy, Aunty Vic, both your grandma’s think you’re the best thing in the whole wide world!” Ben giggled a little and Aaron felt himself start to relax. “And uncle Cain.”

“Great uncle Cain,” Ben said with a grin, knowing he was the only person who could get away with calling Cain that to his face.

“Ignore them,” Robert said. “I’ll have a word with the parents.” His tone had gone dark and Aaron glared at him.

“Robert…” he warned.

“I mean a word,” Robert said, gentler this time.

“Good,” Aaron said. He pulled Ben into a hug. “You could have told me in the car, you know,” he said, ruffling his hair.

“You get sad sometimes,” Ben said. “I didn’t want to make you sad.”

“Benjamin Sugden, you never make me sad or let me down,” Aaron said firmly. “Don’t ever forget it, you hear me?”

“Yes, dad,” he said meekly.

“Want to go to the pub? Bother Aunty Vic for some chips for her favourite nephew?”

“Yes, please!” Ben said, tears mostly forgotten, jumping up at the thought of chips.

“Want to let grandma Chas teach you how to pour a pint?” Robert said. “You're half Dingle after all, I think four’s not too early.”

“Robert!” Robert smiled as he grabbed his leather jacket, Ben putting his shoes back on. “Robert?” Aaron said again, this time much different, softer, Aaron's voice close to breaking.

“We knew this wouldn’t always be easy,” Robert said, answering the question he hadn’t spoken.

“I don’t care what they say about us,” Aaron said. “It’s when they hurt him. He’s far too innocent for it to…” he didn’t finish his sentence as Robert took his hand in his gently.

“I know,” Robert said, kissing his cheek. “But he’ll be okay. He’s a bright thing, and can you imagine getting on the wrong side of Cain if things get really bad?” Aaron smiled at that, knowing they had a lot of family to defend them.

“Ready!” Ben said happily, the upset all but forgotten now.

“Text Vic our order,” Aaron said, knowing it would cut down on the time. Robert did so, as Ben almost skipped ahead to the pub.

“I love you,” Robert said, kissing him a little more passionately than usual when Ben was present.

“I know.”

“Dad! Come on!”


	21. The Woolpack

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was asked to write a chapter with them all at the pub, so this one follows the last chapter quite closely. Enjoy!

“Oh no, here comes trouble,” Chas said over dramatically as Ben, Robert and Aaron came through the door of the pub. Ben grinned easily, going to hug his grandma.

“You, my boy are getting heavy,” Chas said, enjoying holding him before Ben kicked to be let down. It wouldn’t be too long before he’d be insisting that he was too old to be carried like a baby, they all knew that.

“Don’t I know it,” Robert said, smiling with affection as Ben ran through the back, saying hello to Victoria.

“Vic’s not swamped with orders is she?” Robert asked, concerned. Robert was well aware Ben could keep her occupied when he wanted to. Harder to shake than superglue.

“No,” Chas said, smiling as she poured them two pints. “How are you? Not seen you in a while.” Her eyes lingered on Aaron and Robert refused to feel guilty. He hadn’t taken Chas’s precious son away, as she sometimes made him feel. He’d given Aaron the kind of life that made him happy, and he wouldn’t feel bad for that.

“Nah, we’ve been busy,” Aaron said, taking a seat at the bar and gratefully taking the pint Chas gave him. They all felt calmer after Ben’s tears this afternoon now they were in the friendly atmosphere of the pub. “How’re you?” Aaron asked.

“Fine,” she said. “And you?” she asked, directing her attention to Robert.

“Our boy’s been keeping us occupied, hasn’t he?” Robert said to Aaron, feeling almost a glow in his warm family life. He too was feeling more secure in the Woolpack, especially as Ben seemed to have forgotten it at all. They knew this wouldn’t be the last time he was judged for having two fathers as his parents.

“Don’t tell him ghost stories that have him waking up at three in the morning then,” Aaron said grimly.

“Really?” Chas asked in sympathy.

“For a week,” Aaron added.

“All right!” Robert said. “Because uncle Adam didn’t plant the idea in his head in the first place, did he? Thanks Chas,” he said, taking the pint off his mother in law. The chill had long since thawed between them but every now and then he got a glare, just to keep him in his place, remind him that while he might make Aaron happy, he was certainly not good enough for him, Ben and wedding ring aside.

“Three burger and chips, please,” Aaron said. “And my son back.”

“Good luck with that,” Chas said. They all knew how much Ben loved Victoria and his cousin Ellie. At that moment Cain and Moira came in the door, his usual harsh stare in place.

“Hiya,” he said gruffly. “Where’s my nephew?”

“I’m right here,” Aaron said, lips twitching.

“You know who I mean,” Cain said darkly.

“Ben!” Robert shouted.

“Yeah?” he asked, peering over the bar, too short to really see. “Uncle Cain!”

“You been a good boy?” Cain asked him seriously, the face one that should terrify grown men but had no effect on the four year old. Ben knew how this went so he shook his head, still smiling.

“No? Promise?”

“No,” Ben said innocently.

“Good, give both your fathers hell,” Cain said, ruffling his blonde hair, making him giggle.

“He does not need your encouragement,” Robert said fervently as Moira started pulling out the colouring, trying to keep Ben occupied while waiting for their food. Aaron looked at Robert, leaning forward and kissing his jaw. 

“Remember who wanted this tearaway in the first place?” Aaron whispered, sealing it with another kiss.

“You love him more than your own life, and you know it,” Robert said with absolutely no doubt. Aaron smiled, pleased they’d got to the point in their relationship that they were all completely secure with how they felt for each other, and especially Ben.

“I don’t know…” Aaron started. Robert urged him to continue with his eyes. “How I ever thought I could live without him.” Robert smiled warmly at him. He’d always known that Aaron would be a good father, if nothing else their experience with Liv told him that. But he hadn’t expected how attractive he would find it, Aaron being protective over their child, so caring and such a good father.

“You look worried,” Chas said, studying him.

“We had a thing, this afternoon,” Aaron admitted. “Ben’s being teased.”

“Kids do that,” Chas said easily. “I wouldn’t make too much of it, he seems happy enough now.”

“About having two fathers,” Robert butted in darkly.

“Oh,” Chas said, voice heavy with meaning. “Well… Ben’s got two parents who love him. It’s more than an awful lot of people‘ve got.”

“That’s what I told him,” Robert said, turning around to watch Moira with their son. Cain had overheard and they could all see him getting angry. He had developed a soft spot for Ben, and everyone knew Cain would do absolutely anything for his family, regardless.

“No,” Aaron said, reading Cain‘s silence correctly.

“No one hurts that boy,” Cain said darkly.

“I agree, but I don’t think Robert trying to blackmail everyone or you starting a punch up with those kids parents will help at all,” Aaron said. “Calm down. He’s forgotten it.” They all looked to Ben and Moira, seeing how true that was.

They all gathered around the table, chatting easily as Chas brought their food other. Aaron and Robert sat next to each other easily, Aaron trying to ignore the way Robert’s fingertips slowly slid up his thigh. Eventually, Aaron gripped his wrist to stop him, a warning look in his eyes. They were in public, with family for God’s sake. Robert grinned, storing it up for later, settling for now with a kiss on the cheek before turning to his chips.

“That’s disgusting, you should be ashamed of yourselves.” They all turned to look at the woman, blonde girl in tow, about the same age as Ben. The atmosphere in the pub changed instantly, Cain only stopped from standing up by Moira’s hand on his arm.

“Got something to say?” Cain asked quickly. The only one who seemed unaffected was Ben, still dipping his chips in ketchup. The woman seemed to realise she was in hostile territory because she looked around at the large family and realised she was outnumbered.

“I think you should leave,” Chas said from behind the bar. “Permanently.”

Looking at Cain’s face, this woman clearly thought that was a good idea. Before she could get near the door, Ben piped up.

“Lucy says she has a new daddy every week,” Ben said innocently, making the woman glow scarlet and leave the pub quickly. They all looked at Ben and Aaron narrowed his eyes. He might be young, but Aaron was well aware that that had been calculated. Clearly Robert’s son through and through, God help them all when he became a teenager.

“Did Lucy really say that?” Robert asked. 

Ben gave an Aaron like shrug. “Sort of.”

“God, I love you,” Robert said, kissing the top of Ben’s head gently, making the others breathe a sigh of relief that it hadn’t been worse.

“So… ice cream?” Ben asked, pushing his luck with wide begging blue eyes.

“Just for today, I think ice cream would be okay,” Aaron said. Ben smiled widely, grabbing another chip.

 


	22. The Letter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this one is a bit different, set way into the future when Ben's 16. There will be a part two to this one if it's wanted??

“I’m getting too old for this,” Aaron said, sighing as he collapsed onto the sofa, body aching from carrying scrap. “Hey,” he said quieter, seeing Ben sitting at the kitchen table immobile, a letter in his hand. “Are you all right?”

“No,” he said quietly. “Don’t kick off, dad.”

“What’ve you done?” Aaron asked. Ben did get into trouble from time to time, but the difference was, he tended to talk to either of his fathers when he’d got in a mess. Unlike when both Aaron and Robert were younger, they wanted Ben to be able to talk to them. And he was half Dingle, half Sugden. They were never going to get a quiet life after all.

“I’ve got a letter. From… erm… Polly. “

“Oh.” The way Aaron said it made it clear he knew exactly who that was, the woman who‘d given Ben up for adoption in the first place.

“She wants to meet me.”

“She gave up that right,” Aaron said, speaking slowly but firmly. Ben looked upset at that but didn’t have the time to say anything before Robert came home, immediately sensing the atmosphere, looking between Ben and Aaron.

“Are we arguing? Whose side am I on?” Robert said, trying to break the tension.

“Mine,” Ben said stubbornly, chucking Robert the letter. He read it quickly, eyes scanning it before looking at Aaron.

“Calm down,” he said to his husband.

“Calm down?”

“You think your temper’s going to help right now?” Robert said. He reached for him, putting his arms on Aaron’s shoulders, trying to calm him. It worked after taking several deep breaths, looking into Robert‘s eyes.

“That woman nearly killed him,” Aaron said through gritted teeth.

“What?” Ben asked, completely shocked. They’d never told him how dangerous it had been when he’d first been born, wanting to protect him. “How?”

Robert sighed. He would have liked that not to come up. “When she was pregnant with you, she took… we still don’t know what drugs. She overdosed and went into early labour. We missed you being born, because you were a month early. You were in an incubator, in drug withdrawal and unable to breathe on your own. Aaron is not being dramatic.”

“Why have you never told me that?” Ben asked, completely shocked.

“Because it’s not something we like to think about,” Robert said.

“We could have lost you before we even knew you,” Aaron added. “I can’t support you talking to her, I just can’t.”

“Dad, please…”

“You’re sixteen, she’s not meant to get into contact with you at all until you’re older,” Aaron said, hating this. If Ben chose someone else after all this time, after having him as their son for so long, it would completely destroy him.

“Dad!”

“Aaron,” Robert said warningly. It was Robert that got him to pause and think, though he still wanted to shout and scream that this wasn’t fair. “If you want to see her, we’ll support you.” He was speaking to Ben, but keeping his eyes firmly on his husband.

“We will do _what_?!” Aaron asked darkly, unable to believe what was coming out of his husbands mouth. Robert reached for him, his palm to his face gently, needing Aaron to let go of the fight he was holding onto. Robert’s touch usually did the trick.

“He’s our son, Aaron,” Robert said firmly. “Once he sets his mind to something, he’ll do it, you know how stubborn he is. I’d rather be there for him…” _when it all goes wrong_ was left unspoken, but Aaron heard it and knew Robert had a point. On their experience, this woman would let him down. Couldn’t do anything else.

“You will?” Ben asked surprised, eyes going between them.

“Course we will,” Aaron said relenting. There were two people in his life Aaron couldn’t say no to, and both were asking this of him.

“Good,” Ben said. “Because I really didn’t want to do this on my own.” Ben’s voice was breaking and Aaron pulled him into a tight hug. Ben was only a little shorter than Aaron, but a lot slighter, so he was able to be completely enveloped by his father.

“You’re never on your own if you need us,” Aaron said. “No matter how old you get.” Aaron let him go and Robert took over, towering over him as he wrapped his arms around Ben.

“It’s not replacing you,” Ben said when he parted from them. “I just need to meet her. It‘s something I need to do.”

“I know,” Robert said. “I get it. I love you.” Ben rolled his eyes, a look that he had learnt from Aaron.

“I know, dad. Thanks. Get off,” he added, dodging away from Aaron’s attempt to ruffle his hair. “You’re as bad as Livy.” Ben was the only one who could get away with calling Liv that, a childhood name he’d never grown out of. Once Ben had vanished, Aaron turned to Robert.

“I can’t believe you think this is a good idea,” Aaron grumbled.

“I don’t,” Robert said honestly. “But I’m not going to stop him either. If he needs to know about her, nothing you or I say will change that. He loves us, trust that.” Aaron grimaced again, but not at his words, more a physical pain. “Shoulder again?” Aaron nodded. He got a twinge in it now and then, especially when he‘d been doing heavy work at the scrap yard. “Take your shirt off and get in bed,” Robert said, smiling. Aaron appreciated the distraction, doing as Robert asked. His massages did help with the pain.

Once lying on his front, Robert massaging his shoulder, Aaron groaned. “Ben’ll be okay,” Robert said, pushing his thumbs into the muscles, making him hiss with pain. “He’s a good lad.”

“Better than I hear you were at sixteen,” Aaron said, grinning into the bed.

“Because you were a right angel,” Robert said sarcastically. Aaron chuckled against the duvet, loving Robert’s hands on him.

“Ah!”

“Sorry,” Robert said, lightening the pressure. “That better?”

“Mm,” Aaron said.

“I still think you should see a doctor about this,” Robert said, a well worn conversation.

“Why do that? When I enjoy your hands on me so much more than some random doctor.”

“True,” Robert said, kissing the centre of his back gently. “I just worry about you. Need you to take care of me when I’m a bitter old man, don’t I?”

“Are you not a bitter old man already?” Aaron asked. “Ouch!” Robert laughed briefly, hands slowing. “I love you,” Aaron said quietly, feeling the affection in his husbands touch.

“I know.” He kissed Aaron’s back again. “Ben will be fine. We’ll make sure of it.”


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter ended up being more about the three of them than meeting Polly, but I let it go where it wanted to. Hope it's not a disappointment for those who wanted it!

They’d arranged to meet Polly in a café in Hotten. The atmosphere in the car was tense to say the least and Aaron wasn’t saying a word, staring out of the window as Robert drove. Ben kept biting his lip, feeling guilty for putting them through this.

“You know what, I can do this on my own,” Ben said as Robert parked.

“You’re not doing this on your own,” Robert said firmly, catching his eyes in the mirror. “I promise.” They both looked at Aaron who sat there in silence. “Hey, go into Starbucks and get Aaron a coffee, would you?” Robert asked Ben, giving him a tenner, knowing that was in the opposite direction from where they were meeting Polly. Ben chewed his bottom lip again before nodding, taking the money. Which achieved the goal of Robert getting Aaron alone.

“It will be okay,” Robert said, grabbing his hand.

“I don’t understand why it matters,” Aaron said forcefully. “What the hell does genetics mean about family?” Robert somehow instinctively knew that some of this reminded him of Gordon. Robert squeezed Aaron’s hand tightly. They didn’t often mention him these days, their family life was so much more important than ancient history. “I had the worst father, but… just because Paddy isn’t my dad doesn’t make me love him any less.”

“I know,” Robert said quietly, letting his thumb stroke Aaron‘s knuckles gently. “But Ben… he’s never known what it’s felt like to be unloved. He doesn’t know that family isn’t DNA.”

“Do you know where I’m coming from?” Aaron asked, suddenly needing reassurance.

“Why do you think I put up with Liv for so long?” Robert said with a smile. “Biologically she’s not, but you know that Liv is my family. Even if we’d split up, Liv would always have been my family, Aaron. The three of us before Ben, we’d been through far too much for me to ever drop her.” Aaron nodded, accepting his words.

“Ben can never know,” Aaron said urgently. “About Gordon. I never, ever want him to think of me that way. I mean it, Robert.”

“Okay,” Robert said quickly, needing him to calm down. “Okay.” He had no intention of telling that dark chapter of their lives to Ben either.

“You know… we’re not going to lose him,” Robert said clearly.

“Are we not?” Aaron asked.

“No!” Robert said. He knew this would be awkward and uncomfortable, but he also knew there was no way Ben would chose a mother he’d never met over the pair of them. But then, Aaron had never had his confidence in anything.

“Look, I know if she hadn’t given him up, we’d never have got Ben in our lives. I’m not being completely stupid. But the thought that anyone could willingly abandon him the way she did, hospitalise him like that… it hurts me, Robert. I can’t talk to her, I don’t want to be anywhere near her.”

“You’re not going in there,” Robert said quietly, not disappointed, just a statement, making the decision for him. Robert knew it would just upset him, and the mood Aaron was in, he’d be no support for Ben right now.

“I can’t let him down,” Aaron said, looking down and shaking his head.

“He’ll be safe with me,” Robert said. “You trust me?” After so long together that was a stupid question and Aaron’s glare must have said it. “Well, then.” Robert leaned across and kissed Aaron deeply, only interrupted when Ben opened the door, coffee cup in hand. Aaron took it.

“Come on then,” Robert said, getting out of the car.

“Dad?” Ben asked quietly, looking at Aaron.

“He’s not coming,” Robert said before Aaron could reply. Robert shut the door firmly, not wanting Aaron to change his mind. He nodded to Ben, and he could read that look well.

“Have I upset him?” Ben asked, worried.

“No,” Robert said, wrapping an arm around his shoulders. “I think he doesn’t understand why it matters to you so much.”

“Why not?”

“His father was absolutely useless,” Robert said, being very careful about his words. “Aaron hated him, with very good reasons. He thinks family is who you choose, and very little to do with genetics. So this is difficult for him.”

“But he still came,” Ben said. It had been quite some years since Robert had heard his son sound so timid, and almost small.

“We’d both do anything for you,” Robert said simply. Ben smiled at him, hugging him tightly, the first time in public for a while.

“Let’s do this then,” Ben said, pushing the door of the nondescript café open.

* * *

 

The conversation was very stilted, and Ben kept looking at Robert, as if for guidance on what to say. Which he found very reassuring. Polly was younger than Robert had remembered. She must have only been nineteen or so when she was pregnant with Ben. In his memory, she hadn’t seemed that young. Not much she said actually stuck in Robert’s mind, he was far too concerned for his son. One thing did stay in his memory.

“I couldn’t look after you,” she said. “Could barely look after myself at the time, and I wanted you to have a good life. That’s why I gave you up.”

“Got high when you were pregnant though, didn’t you?” Robert said harshly. She glared at him, but he didn’t feel guilty in the slightest. Ben could have died.

“I’d been clean,” she said. “Throughout the pregnancy, I’d been clean and sober, and I… had a wobble. I needed the hit, and I’m sorry.” Ben scoffed, suddenly feeling cold towards her.

“Dad, can you give us a couple of minutes?” Ben said. He looked at him, then nodded, leaving the café but staying right outside, watching through the window.

Ben looked at her, unable to hate her the way he’d expected. “Thank you.”

“For what?” she asked.

“For giving me up,” Ben said. “I have a great family, and that’s really all I’m here to tell you.” 

She smiled. “They taking good care of you?”

“Yeah,” Ben said, smiling. “They always do.”

“Good. You can call me or write to me, you know?” she said. “If you ever need anything? Or want to know anything…”

“I’ll bear that in mind,” Ben said, but they both knew he wouldn’t.

“All right?” Robert asked as Ben came out of the café. He nodded. “What did you… Did you ask about your father?” Robert asked hollowly. He’d come to the conclusion that was the only thing that he’d have wanted to ask without Robert present.

“Why would I ask something I already know?” Ben said without missing a beat. Robert smiled, suddenly feeling warm and completely loved as they walked back to the car. They could see Aaron and they both knew he’d be cracking his knuckles in agitation. Even being this far away, they could see him relax, probably more to do with the smiles on their faces than anything else.

“Want to drive home?” Robert asked him.

“I’m too young,” Ben reminded him.

“Come on, Ben. Do either you or Aaron seriously believe I don’t know he’s teaching you to drive when I’m not paying attention?”

“We can’t hide anything from you, can we?” Ben said.

“Nope.” Ben smiled as he got into the back of the car.

“Go okay?” Aaron asked.

“Yeah,” Ben said. “Thanks, for coming with me. It means a lot to me.”

“I was useless,” Aaron said bitterly.

“No, you were here,” Ben said. “I’m tired, can we go home?”

“Yeah,” Robert said. He told Aaron with his eyes that it’d been okay, and Aaron relaxed as Robert started the car.

“Thank you,” Aaron said to his husband. He really would have struggled to go through that alone. Robert kissed him briefly.

“If you could not embarrass me, that would be great,” Ben said loudly from the back seat.

“Yeah, yeah.”


	24. Happy Birthday

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Inspired by smittenwithsugden's 100 ways to say I love you. Ben's 6 here, enjoy!

“Happy Birthday.”

“Mm?”

“Wake up.”

“No,” Aaron grumbled, but he was smiling as Robert’s hands slowly explored him. “Oh, that’s so good.”

“You like that?” Robert whispered, lips trailing over Aaron’s chest.

“What time is it?”

“Half six,” Robert replied without looking, knowing why he was asking. Ben seemed to wake up at seven on the dot almost every morning, so they had the time to enjoy themselves in bed first. Just.

* * *

 

When they emerged in the kitchen half an hour later, Ben popped up in his pyjamas, giving Aaron a birthday card.

“Thanks,” Aaron said, seeing a hand drawn card that shouldn’t make him melt inside, but did. Aaron pinned it to the fridge, grinning.

“So, how old are you dad?” When Aaron told him, Ben gaped. “That’s really old!”

“Thanks, Benjamin,” Aaron said as Robert laughed into his mug of coffee. “But you want to know something? He…” Aaron pointed at Robert. “…is six years older than me.” 

Ben’s eyes went wide with awe. “But… that’s my whole life!”

“Yeah, now who’s the old git?” Robert didn’t look happy, but Ben’s laugh softened him slightly.

“Listen, Ben. Aaron’s driving you to school today.”

“I am?” Aaron asked. That only ever happened when Robert was away on business, and Aaron felt a thrill of fear that Robert was going away. Today?

“No,” Robert said, correctly reading the worry on his husbands face. “You’re stuck with me I’m afraid.” He reached across the kitchen table and squeezed Aaron’s hand in reassurance. “I thought you’d want a test drive, though.” Aaron frowned, not following, until Robert threw him a set of keys he didn’t recognise.

“You bought me a car?” Aaron asked, bewildered, staring at the keys in his palm.

“Yes.”

“Robert, that’s way too extravagant,” Aaron said, shaking his head. “Nothing wrong with my car.”

“You want to see it before you criticise my birthday present?” Robert asked coldly. “And you know your car has nearly had it. Let me treat you,” he added in a softer voice. He had known that persuading Aaron to accept this gift could be an uphill struggle. “If I can’t spoil my husband, who can I spoil?”

“Me!” Ben piped up. Both men looked at him and smiled, Ben easing the tension easily.

“Let’s see it then,” Aaron said, grabbing his coat. The three of them went outside in the chill January air (no frost, thankfully).

“Ooh, it’s so shiny!” Ben said, running towards it, ignoring the fact he was still in his pyjamas.

“I’m not worth it,” Aaron said, watching Ben laugh happily, dancing around the car.

“You’re worth everything,” Robert said quietly. “One day, you’ll believe me.” Aaron still didn’t look convinced. “Okay, let me try this. Driving Ben around in that one will stop me from worrying. You know it’s a matter of time before your car really has had it.”

“Fine,” Aaron said, lips twitching into a smile. Robert grinned, wrapping his arms around Aaron’s waist. “Thanks,” he said. “I love it.”

“Knew you would,” Robert said, kissing his neck for a moment while Ben was distracted.

“Can we go for a drive?” Ben asked.

“After breakfast,” Aaron said. “Go inside and finish your cereal.”

“Daaaad” Ben moaned, sing song like.

“Now,” Robert said gently. Ben sighed but went inside, giving both men an opportunity to enjoy a deep kiss. “Vic’s looking after him after school tonight,” Robert said. “I’m taking you out.”

“Yeah?” Aaron asked, smiling at him, anticipating later that day.

“Yeah,” Robert said, kissing him again. “Happy birthday.”


	25. Car Crash

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so so much for the continued support of this fic. A bit of a different one here, Ben's 17, enjoy!

Ben had such a headache, the noises of the hospital were really starting to grate on him now. He sat down, waiting as he ran a hand over his face. He wanted to see his dad desperately, but he was also a little afraid of what would happen when he did turn up. He knew he was in serious trouble. He’d stolen (or borrowed) Aaron’s car for his friends to have a night out. It was when they were driving home that a white van had come out of nowhere and crashed into the passenger side. Ben knew he was in major trouble. He had a license, but he wasn’t insured and stealing his fathers car hadn’t been a great start either. Lucy had been wheeled off for emergency surgery, she’d been right where the van had hit the car, and Ben was going out of his mind with worry.

Aaron appeared, eyes wild which settled when they landed on Ben. He closed the distance quickly, and Ben almost fell into his fathers arms. “Dad…” he said into Aaron’s shoulder.

“It’s all right,” he said, rubbing his hands up and down Ben’s back. “I’m here.“ Aaron pulled away from him, looking directly in his eyes. “You’re okay? Doctor’s have checked you out, right? Nothing wrong with you?”

“No, I’m fine,” Ben said, shaking his head. Aaron ran his fingertips across a cut on Ben’s forehead in silence. “Shard of glass from the windscreen. I was lucky, Lucy’s still in surgery.” Ben’s bottom lip wobbled and Aaron knew he was fighting back the tears.

“It’s fine,” Aaron said, drawing Ben into another tight hug. He was beyond worried, and knew there would be time for his anger later, but not now. Now, Ben needed comfort, and needed to be told it would all be okay. This was much more Robert’s territory than his, he was better with the advice, but Aaron was determined to do his best anyway.

“You’re in so much trouble when you get home,” Aaron said, but made sure to keep his voice as light as possible.

“I know,” Ben said. “But I was driving carefully, I wasn’t drunk, they’ve already checked me. It wasn’t my fault, dad, the brakes on the other van failed. It wasn’t my fault!”

“It’s okay,” Aaron said, running his hands down Ben’s arms to try and calm him, unconsciously the same way Robert did to him. “You’re safe and that’s the most important thing.”

“I wasn’t insured.”

“Well, I didn’t say I was thrilled,” Aaron said. Ben laughed, then felt terrible. “It’ll be a fine and points on your license at the worst. Don’t worry about that now.”

“Have you called dad?”

“I’m not calling him,” Aaron said bluntly. “You know he’s away on business, he’ll come tearing down here and one car crash a day is enough for me, okay?” Ben nodded.

“He’ll be mad you didn’t,” Ben said. Robert hated it when Aaron hid things from him.

“Let me deal with Robert,” Aaron said firmly. “Can you go home or are you waiting on police?”

“I can go… but… I want to know Lucy’s okay. Can we stay until…?”

“Yeah,” Aaron said, knowing that bad judgement aside, he was a good kid. “Course we can.”

They had sat in silence for a while, waiting. “Can I ask why you stole my car?”

“We’ve finished exams, dad,” Ben said. “We wanted a night out, away from everything. I’m the only one with a driving license and… it seemed like a good idea at the time.” Aaron scoffed.

"You could have asked me," Aaron said. "I would have understood, Ben."

“Because you’ve never stolen a car in your life, have you?” Ben said innocently, making Aaron narrow his eyes.

“What’s your father been telling you?” 

Ben smiled. “True then? That you nicked his car and that’s how you met?”

“Something like that,” Aaron said, shifting uneasily. He didn’t like talking about the start of his relationship with Robert. It didn’t paint him in a good light at all. “Your knuckles are bruised,” he added conversationally. Ben stretched his hand, looking down. “Threw a punch did you?”

“Maybe,” Ben said. Looking at Aaron he saw that wasn’t good enough. “This guy was feeling up Claudia at the bar,” Ben said in explanation. “I didn’t exactly have a conversation with him.”

Aaron bit his bottom lip, trying not to smile. Ben was so much like Robert that Aaron sometimes felt a little left out, left behind. Ben looked like Robert, behaved like him most of the time too. Even if it wouldn’t be the kind of behaviour he approved of, Aaron liked that some of himself had rubbed off on their son too. He would have punched that git too, had he been in the same situation. And stealing cars… well, that was more Aaron’s area of expertise than Robert’s as well.

A police officer approached them, and Aaron stood up, taking the lead. “Can you tell me what’s going on?” Aaron asked. “I’m Benjamin’s father.”

“Yes,” he said with a tight smile. “So, you know your son was driving the car when it crashed?” Aaron nodded impatiently. “It seems he didn’t do anything too wrong, the van definitely had faulty brakes. No one could have avoided it.” Aaron breathed a sigh of relief.

“Good.”

“He hadn’t been drinking.” The words were simple, but the tone wasn’t, he sounded surprised and Aaron took great offence to that.

“He wouldn't drink and drive,” Aaron said firmly. They’d taught him better than that.

“Most teenagers do,” the police officer said, shrugging. “You can go home, we’ll be in touch.”

“I can’t,” Aaron said. “He wants to make sure his friend is okay.” The officer nodded and Aaron sat back down.

“Call dad,” Ben said. “I’d rather he knows, I can’t bear the waiting.”

“You could call him,” Aaron suggested.

“Yeah, but… you calm him down better than I do,” Ben said. It was true so Aaron got his phone out and called Robert.

“I’ve been waiting for you to call me,” Robert said easily, making Aaron look at his watch. It was late, and whenever he was away Aaron always called him in the evening, to catch up and usually talk about how much they missed each other.

“Yeah, listen, I need you to keep calm,” Aaron said slowly.

“Why?”

“Robert, promise me,” Aaron said. “We’re all okay.”

“Why would you not be okay?” Robert asked, voice going dark. “Where’re my keys,” he added under his breath, clearly looking for them.

“Robert, you’re not listening to me,” Aaron said. The shuffling stopped and he could hear Robert breathing down the line. “Okay, we’re at the hospital. Ben was in a car accident.” For a moment, Robert could swear his heart had stopped. “He’s fine. Just a scratch.”

“Define just a scratch,” Robert said coldly.

“Cut on his forehead, he’s absolutely fine. Shaken, but fine.” As he spoke, Aaron laced his fingers through Ben’s and squeezed.

“Are you sure, are you…?”

“Absolutely,” Aaron said firmly. “He’s sat right next to me.”

“You’re not easing on it, are you? To stop me from worrying while I drive home?”

“Like I could stop you worrying about him,” Aaron said. His voice was warm, affectionate and easy, and that did calm Robert. “He nicked my car keys, and was apparently the designated driver for a good night out with his friends.” Aaron squeezed Ben’s hand tightly.

“I’m on my way,” Robert said. “Tell him I love him and he’s an idiot.”

“I will,” Aaron said. “I love you.”

“I love you, too. I’ll be… two hours or so.”

“Don’t rush,” Aaron said firmly. “Last thing we need.”

“Yeah,” Robert said. “I know.” Robert hung up.

"He's going to be so angry with me," Ben said.

"We both want you to be okay," Aaron said. "And yeah, he's probably going to shout, but it's only 'cause he loves you." Ben let Aaron wrap an arm around him and they sat. Waiting.

 


	26. Worry

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was asked for part two for the last chapter, so here it is. A very worried Robert! Somehow I managed to circle round to Gordon here (not quite sure how I managed that) so a mild warning for Aaron's abuse storyline.

Time seemed to behave very strangely in hospitals. Aaron had no idea how long they say there, Ben’s head on his shoulder when Ben said “Dad’s coming.”

“Okay,” Aaron said, seeing Robert almost race down the corridor towards them.

“He’s going to be so mad isn’t he?”

“Yep,” Aaron said easily.

“Ben!” Robert looked frantic. “Oh, thank God,” Robert breathed, seeing that he looked relatively unharmed. “Let me have a proper look at you.” Robert pulled Ben up so he was standing and his eyes darted all over his son, making sure he was in one piece.

“Don’t you ever, ever do that to me again, Benjamin Sugden,” Robert said fervently, pulling him into a hug. “I never want to get a call like that, okay?” Robert said, speaking into his shoulder.

“I know,” Ben said, voice wavering. 

“There’s two people in my life I couldn’t bear to lose. You’re one of them.” Robert’s eyes landed on Aaron making sure he knew that he was the other one. Aaron’s eyes sparkled at him a little.

“I shouldn’t have taken the car.”

“No, you’re damn right you shouldn’t,” Robert said, letting him go, concern fading into anger. “Honestly, what were you thinking?”

“I wasn’t,” Ben said. “The keys were there, and I just… took them.”

"How stupid can you get?!" Aaron knew Robert's shouting and anger was coming from fear, but it didn't make it any easier.

“Did you drink?”

“No,” Aaron said, chipping in and wanting Robert to calm down a bit. Not that he didn’t understand Robert’s anger, he did. But Ben was severely scared already without Robert weighing in.

“I wasn’t asking you,” Robert said coldly, eyes never leaving Ben. “Drink? Drugs?”

“No,” he said. “They breathalysed me on the scene, I haven’t had anything.”

“Okay,” Robert said, seeing the honesty in his eyes. “What’re we doing here then?” he added, looking around the hospital.

“Ben wanted to wait until Lucy was out of surgery,” Aaron explained, saying without words to Robert that she was in quite a bad way. Robert’s attitude completely changed, seeing that Ben cared, and wasn’t about to run out.

“Lucy?” They all turned to see a middle aged couple. “It was you!” the woman hissed, pointing at Ben. “You were the driver who did that to my little girl!”

“Calm down,” Robert said, looking at the woman who was clearly upset, standing in between her and Ben. Ben looked down at the floor, trying to make himself as small as possible and not defending himself in the slightest.

“Calm down?! Are you insane?! My daughter’s leg is broken in three places and she’s still unconscious!”

“So she’s out of surgery?” Ben asked. “She’s going to be okay?”

“No thanks to you.”

“That’s enough,” Aaron said, standing up next to Robert. “He was the only one of them sober, stop having a go at him. Anyone would have crashed, it’s not his fault the van came hurtling into them.” The man they assumed was Lucy’s father was pulling her away, and Robert put an arm around Ben, taking him in the opposite direction.

“Okay, you know she’s fine, lets go home.” Both Aaron and Ben knew there was no arguing with him when he got like this, and they were too tired to even try.

“So, I guess I’m driving,” Robert said. “How’s your car?” Aaron shook his head, looking at Ben.  
“Insurance will go way up I expect,” Aaron said. “Not that it matters,” he added as Ben dropped his head. “We just want you safe.”

“I wasn’t drinking,” Ben said to Robert desperately. “Please believe me.”

“I do,” Robert said. “Course I do.” He hugged Ben again, having calmed down somewhat. “Come on.”

* * *

 

When they were sat in the car, Aaron could see how badly Robert’s hands were shaking. “Move,” he said quietly.

“What?”

“I’ll drive, you’re too upset.” Robert didn’t argue and they swapped seats.

“Is there anything else you haven’t told me?” Robert asked as Aaron pulled out of the hospital car park. 

“Punched some idiot,” Ben mumbled. Robert looked at Aaron who’s expression made it clear this was old news to him. 

“Oh, for God’s sake Ben,” Robert said.

“Not my fault!” Ben said. “He had his hands all over Claudia and he couldn’t take no for an answer. I saw red.”

Robert paused. “Was he bigger than you?”

“Yes.”

“Did you make sure to hit him hard?”

“Yes.”

“Good,” Robert said fervently. Ben laughed a little, before cutting himself off.

* * *

Once at home Ben locked himself in his bedroom, not wanting to talk any more, too upset. In their bedroom, Robert paced, eyes glancing at Aaron on the bed every now and then.

“Look, all he did wrong was take the car,” Aaron said, attempting to calm him down. “You know that, sit down.”

“I just… when you called I had a moment.” Robert swallowed. “I thought… this is it. Our boy’s gone.”

“I know you did,” Aaron said as Robert sat down on the bottom of the bed heavily. He’d heard the catch in Robert’s voice even on the phone.

“I think it’s knowing that… we can’t protect him any more,” Robert said. “He’s seventeen, soon he’ll be off doing his own thing and… so much could happen to him.”

“Robert, any of us could die crossing the road tomorrow morning,” Aaron said bluntly. “Yeah, he’s grown up, but you can’t protect him from everything.”

“I want to.”

“I know you do,” Aaron said. “I do too.”

“You’re taking this awfully calmly,” Robert said, frowning at him.

“I know we both did a lot worse when we were his age,” Aaron said. “And he might be very nearly an adult, but I know he still needs both of us. He'll always need us.” Robert scoffed, so Aaron continued. “Would you want one more conversation with your father? If you could?”

“Yes,” Robert said without even thinking about it. “I’d want more than one though. W…” He’d been about to ask Aaron “would you?” before his brain kicked in and he remembered what an insensitive, awful question that was. “Sorry.”

“It’s okay,” Aaron said, lips twitching. “Good to know you can forget it.”

“Do you?” Robert asked. It had been so many years since Gordon, and it had been a long while since they’d even mentioned it between themselves in private.

“Yeah,” Aaron said. “I do forget it, actually. It was a lifetime ago. But I also know… it would be harder to forget without you.” Robert smiled softly at him and kissed him briefly before the conversation returned to Ben. 

“I can’t lose him,” Robert said. “It would completely break me. He has to be more careful.”

“I know,” Aaron said. “But he’s a teenager, it was never going to be easy. He’s a Sugden through and through.”

“No,” Robert said, getting into bed and pulling Aaron into his arms. “Joyriding is more the Dingle style.” Aaron smiled at that, pulling his husband close to him. He needed to hold him, to feel the reassurance Robert always gave him. No matter what happened.


	27. Hungover

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was given a prompt for this, to see a drunk Ben being picked up by his worried parents. It turned into more of a morning after piece, but I hope it's still okay. Enjoy!

Robert came downstairs, surprised to see Aaron frying bacon, already dressed. “Er… what’re you doing?”

“Making breakfast, what does it look like?” Aaron said, not taking his focus away from the cooker.

“We’re not rewarding Ben for having a hang over,” Robert said bluntly, wrapping his arms around Aaron’s waist.

“I’m sure the headache will be punishment enough,” Aaron said, smiling as Robert kissed the top of his shoulder.

“This is because you feel guilty for shouting at him, isn’t it?” Robert said, making Aaron shrug. “He was so pissed, I’m sure he won’t even remember. And you know I don’t like waking up without you,” Robert complained, making sure to pull Aaron so close that he could feel Robert hard against his own arse.

“Oh, you’re eager,” Aaron said, moving the frying pan off the heat so he could concentrate on Robert’s touch.

“It’s been a while since I’ve had you,” Robert said, low in his ear. “I still want you after all this time.” Aaron breathed deeply, closing his eyes as he let Robert play with his body, hand squeezing him through the front of his jeans. Aaron moaned at the contact. “Oh, make that noise again,” Robert demanded, grinding against his arse.

“Robert, we can’t…” Aaron breathed, though every fibre of him wanted this to continue. Robert ignored that, kissing his neck slowly up to his jaw as his hands continued to drive Aaron mad, making him whimper. They sprang apart like guilty teenagers when they heard footsteps on the stairs, Aaron sighing with disappointment.

“Later,” Robert whispered, his tone making it clear that was a promise. “When he’s passed out again.” Robert was making himself a coffee when Ben sat down at the kitchen table, hair stuck on end from having run his fingers through it. Aaron walked over to him and said “morning!” very loudly in his ear, making Ben wince at the throbbing in his head.

“D’you have to?” he asked, rubbing his temples.

“Do you have to call us at one a.m. informing us you need a lift and that you’re incredibly drunk?” Robert countered. “What were you thinking?” he added softly.

“I dunno,” Ben said, almost crumpling into the table. “Only meant to be a bit of fun. Then there was this girl…”

“Oh, really?” Robert questioned dryly. “She impressed by you throwing up on the pavement, was she?”

“Oh, don’t remind me,” Ben said. “Thank you,” he added as Aaron put down a glass of water and headache tablets in front of him.

“You’re cleaning my car today,” Aaron said firmly. It stank of booze and vomit, and it was entirely Ben’s fault.

“Oh, can’t I…”

“No,” Aaron said, cutting him off. “You’re cleaning my car.”

“Fine,” Ben said. “As soon as my head stopped pounding.”

“Who was this girl then?” Robert asked.

“What?” Ben replied, feigning indifference.

“The one you were going on and on about,” Aaron chipped in.

“I was not,” Ben said, though he really didn’t remember the car journey home at all. “You know what, I can’t even remember her name.”

“Oh, great,” Robert said.

“Oh, she was way too hot for me anyway, I think my jaw was on the floor most of the night.” Ben yawned and then almost fell on the bacon sandwich gratefully.

They were all quiet until the sandwiches had been wolfed down, when Robert turned to their son. “Ben, I know you’re eighteen now, but you can’t just go out drinking all night when we’ve got no idea where you are. You’re still in school, for God’s sake.”

“I know,” Ben said with a sigh. “Lapse in judgement, can we leave it at that? This headache is going to be a powerful enough reminder on it's own.”

“Okay,” Robert said, seeing that he looked at least a little contrite.

“You didn’t have to shout at me though,” Ben said to Aaron.

“I thought it would just bounce off you with the amount you’d had,” Aaron said. The spoke more calmly. “The bacon’s me saying sorry. I shouldn’t have shouted, you just scare us when you go off like that.”

“I know,” Ben said, finishing the rest of his water. “I’m going back to sleep. I’ll get the car later.”

“Perfect,” Aaron said. Once Ben had left, Robert brightened up.

"Where were we?" he asked Aaron, grinning at him.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've had an idea for a multi chapter fic, including Ben as a teenager, with Robert and Aaron and a lot of angst and drama. Not sure if anyone would want to read this so please let me know! Thank you!


	28. How did you meet?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can always tell when I've got a day off work, I seem to write a lot more! Just a short one here, Ben's 5. Enjoy!

“That’ll be £5.20 please.”

“Thanks, Brenda,” Ross said, handing over the money and heading towards the door of the café.

“How did you and daddy meet?”

“On second thoughts, I’ll have another coffee,” Ross said, turning around instantly, smiling at Ben and Robert as he sat down. “Want to enjoy the show. This should be an absolute classic.”

“Watch it or I might suddenly clear my memory,” Robert said coldly.

“If you were going to do something, it’d have been years ago,” Ross said easily, hand on his chest as they both remembered the shooting. “Answer the boys question, very important, that.”

“Daddy? Did I say something wrong?” Ben said, eyes wide and sensing the atmosphere.

“No,” Robert reassured him quickly. “No, Ross is just being mean.” Ben narrowed his eyes at the man in question and poked his tongue out. “Ben, what did we say about that?”

“Sorry,” he said, not sounding it. Robert didn’t push because… well, it _was_ Ross.

“So…” Ben said with as much slyness that a five year old could manage. “How did you meet daddy?”

“It’s complicated,” Robert started.

“I’ll say,” Ross chipped in.

“Ross…” Robert warned. “I might be more or less reformed now, but don’t give me a reason to go back to who I used to be. All right?” Ross held his hands up, but the grin was so wide, Robert knew he hadn’t won.

“I suppose… I’d been away from the village for a good few years,” Robert said. “I came back, moved home and when I did, I met your dad then. We‘ve been together ever since.” Definitely covering for the non appropriate bits for a five year olds ears, but it would do.

“Oh,” Ben said, disappointed. “That sounds boring.” Robert and Ross both laughed at that, avoiding each others eyes.

“How about a piece of chocolate cake instead?” Robert asked. “For my really boring story.”

“Daddy Aaron doesn’t let me.”

“Well, daddy Aaron’s not here.” Ben grinned his toothy smile which melted absolutely everyone’s hearts whenever they saw it.

“Chocolate!” he shouted. Robert rolled his eyes, already dreading the sugar rush he was letting himself in for.

 


	29. Jacket

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A bit of a different one here, Ben is again 16, and no Aaron or Robert at all. Hope it's enjoyed! x

“Hey gran,” Ben said as he came into the pub.

“Oh, no,” Chas replied, looking at him in Robert’s leather jacket. “No, no, no, no! You cannot be wearing that!”

“Er… why?” Ben asked blankly.

“That’s your fathers.”

“I know,” Ben said. “I borrowed it.”

“Nope,” Chas said, shaking her head. “I’ve had enough Sugdens to last a lifetime. That’s it, I’m retiring.”

“Gran…” Ben said, smiling at him.

“What’re you after?” Chas asked with a grin. She couldn’t resist Ben whenever he asked her for something, she had definite grandparent duties.

“Can I not be popping in to see my beloved grandma?” Ben said sarcastically.

“You’re Robert’s son,” Chas said, still smiling. “So I doubt it.”

“Oh, you hurt me,” Ben said sarcastically. He got his wallet out and started counting money. “From dad for your old car,” he explained

“Oh, great,” Chas said, grabbing an envelope and counting the money out. “Twenty extra,” Chas said, handing him the extra note back.

“Thanks.”

“You know, that’s very honest of you,” Chas said. “Money in full? Robert would definitely have taken some.”

“Maybe I’m more Aaron’s then,” Ben said with a wink.

“No, he’d have taken his share too,” Chas said. “I guarantee it. Drink?”

“Pint please.”

“Oh no,” Chas said. “Nice try.” Ben grumbled, but moved behind the bar, grabbing a can of coke anyway.

“I get major points at school for this,” Ben said. “My gran owns a pub. With a bunch of sixteen year olds in school? Major points.”

“I’ve not ever served you alcohol,” Chas said.

“I leave that part out when I’m bragging,” Ben said with a grin. Chas smiled at him.

“How are Aaron and Robert doing?”

“They’re fine,” Ben said. “Why wouldn’t they be?”

“I’ve not seen them in a while,” Chas said with a shrug. “That’s all.”

“Is it true you didn’t like Robert at first?” Ben said.

“Hated him,” Chas replied honestly. “He was a smarmy lying idiot who I wanted to get as far away from Aaron as possible,” she added. “Then he grew up,” she added, softer. “A little anyway. I don’t hate him now.”

“Good,” Ben said, smiling. “You never seemed like you hated him.”

“Aaron needed him,” Chas said simply. “That was enough.” Ben smiled at her easily. Life was good.


	30. Happy Birthday

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Going back in time a bit to where Ben's three or so. Also in this story, I'm completely ignoring the Chrissie / Andy stuff, because it doesn't play in to this! Enjoy!

“Cor, you’re getting heavy,” Aaron said as he almost swung Ben up so he sat on Aaron’s shoulders, his hands clutching Aaron’s head.

“And you call me old,” Robert said, earning a glare.

“Go daddy!” Ben said, annoyed at standing still. They were walking down to the café, where Diane was treating the three of them to breakfast, as a celebration for Robert’s birthday. It was a beautiful spring morning, so they’d decided to forgo the car. Sat on Aaron’s shoulders, Ben managed to be a few inches taller than Robert and he reached across, fiddling with Robert’s hair.

“Your hair feels strange,” Ben declared.

“Needs a wash,” Aaron said, to Ben‘s delightful giggles.

“I’ll remember that,” Robert said darkly.

“Come on!” Ben said. “Gonna run?”

“Hold on tight,” Aaron said warmly, knowing this was Ben’s favourite thing. The laughter from Ben was Aaron’s favourite thing. He jogged down the street, Ben’s giggles making him smile.

“Watch where you're going!” Aaron brought himself to a stop, having almost knocked over Chrissie.

“Sorry,” he said, taking Ben down from his shoulders quickly.

“Huh!” she almost huffed, glaring at the pair of them, and Robert who’d caught up. “Perfect little life now, haven’t you?” she sneered, the words directed at Robert, but her gaze not moving from Ben. Ben didn’t usually do shy, but now he grabbed Aaron’s leg and started hiding behind him.

“Chrissie, don’t,” Robert said. “Not in front of him. You’re better than that.”

“Better than you, too,” she said, disappearing with her heels clicking on the road.

“She doesn’t like me,” Ben said, bottom lip wobbling as Aaron picked him up.

“No,” Robert said quickly. “No, she doesn’t like me. There‘s nothing wrong with you, Ben. It‘s me.”

“But you’re amazing!” Ben said open mouthed, unable to see why anyone wouldn’t like Robert as they went into the café.

“Thanks for that,” Robert said warmly to his son.

“Nana!” Ben shouted, running into Diane’s arms.

“Hello handsome,” she said, smiling at him as she picked him up. “You been good?”

“Yes!” he said, smiling.

“Good boy,” Diane replied. “Coming to stay with me tonight? Cause some mayhem?”

“Is grumpy Eric going to be there?” Ben asked

“He might be,” Diane said with a smile.

Both men sat down, watching as Ben and Diane chatted together at the counter. “Ben’s right, you know,” Aaron said, turning to his husband. “You are amazing.” Robert’s eyes darkened with passion, his eyes dipping to Aaron’s lips. Aaron took the initiative, leaning across the seat and kissing him very slowly and seductively, both of their eyes closing at the blissful sensation.

“Oh, way too early to see that,” Diane said. They broke apart but she was smiling warmly at them, particularly at Robert, and they didn’t take her too seriously.

“Happy Birthday, pet.”

 


	31. Tattoo

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No, I haven't forgotten about this one! Warning that for this chapter Aaron's self harm scars are discussed in depth. I didn't intend for it to go that way, but it did!

“Dad, I want a tattoo.”

“No,” Aaron said instantly.

“All right then,” Robert said at exactly the same time.

“What?!” Aaron asked in disbelief as Ben’s face lit up with joy.

“When you’re eighteen,” Robert clarified. "In four years time."

“Aw, daaaad,” Ben moaned.

“If you’re going to have it done,” Robert said. “Have it done properly. Unless hepatitis sounds like a good idea to you?”

“That’s so unfair!” Ben said, storming off.

“Er… why are you agreeing to this?” Aaron asked, completely bewildered once they were alone.

“Because if he’s determined, he’ll do it anyway,” Robert said, shaking his head. “At least this way we hang onto the illusion of control.”

“This is a terrible idea,” Aaron said darkly. “You can’t possibly think having our son scar himself for life is a good idea?”

“No, I don’t,” Robert said, very quietly. The phrase “scarred for life” brought to mind other things for the two of them, and they were both aware of it. Aaron’s hands started to stroke his chest self consciously, seemingly unaware he was doing it.

“Hey,” Robert said quietly, taking both Aaron’s hands in his own, stilling the movement. “You’re okay. Most of them aren’t there any more, you know?”

“I still see them,” Aaron said quietly. “I know you do too.”

“I remember where they were,” Robert said. “That’s not the same thing.” Robert’s fingers started to toy with the hem of Aaron’s T shirt and he nodded, moving so Robert could take it off him. A lot of the smaller, shallower scars had faded with time, but Robert knew Aaron’s body so well, knew the echoes of those scars like a road map only his fingertips could read. He remembered where they all were, though it had been years. Some of the deeper ones would never, ever heal, marks that showed Aaron had been brave enough to struggle and make it out the other side, to beat whatever life threw at him. Robert looked into his husbands eyes and saw the permission to touch him, without having to ask.

“I love all of you,” Robert murmured, his hands skimming Aaron’s body gently, bending forward to kiss his skin, enjoying the quiet moans his husband made at the sensation. Realising he’d caught Aaron feeling particularly open about his scars, Robert moved to his arm, letting his lips trace the deepest scar on Aaron’s body. He’d never tell Aaron this, but he was wrongly rather fond of this scar. It was the start of them really trying to give their relationship a proper chance. It was a sign of when Aaron had shown that he fully trusted Robert, telling him all of his past. It was when Robert started to have hope they could make a real shot of their relationship, knowing that they loved each other so much.

“Don’t,” Aaron whispered after a while. He never allowed Robert to pay him much attention in that particular area for long. Robert kissed his way up Aaron’s arm, his shoulder and neck before kissing his lips deeply.

“Oh, d’you have to do that in front of me?” Ben asked, wrinkling his nose in distaste at their intimacy as he went into the kitchen for food. The amount he was eating lately…

“Would you prefer us to be like Laura’s parents?” Aaron asked with a raised eyebrow. Said parents were going through a particularly messy divorce at the moment.

“Fair point,” Ben said with a grin. “So… tattoo?”

“No!” Aaron and Robert chorused in unison. Ben groaned dramatically before hiding in his bedroom again.


	32. Happy Anniversary

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for your support over the chapters of this fic. This is the end, set waaaay into the future, and I hope it's not too confusing and that you like it!

It took them longer than it used to, to walk to the pub, as Aaron and Robert settled themselves into a private booth at the Woolpack. They were celebrating their wedding anniversary with a party with all their family around them. And it wouldn’t have felt like home if they’d held the party in any other place but the Woolpack.

They had five grandchildren, if you included Liv’s twins, which they usually did, and two great grandchildren. Though Aaron guessed it wouldn’t be long before number three came along, Lydia was wearing baggier clothes these days, as if to hide the fact she was beginning to show. 

“Granddad, you’re early,” she said from behind the bar. She owned the pub with her second husband (who was in no way good enough for Ben’s daughter, but who they put up with) and her son climbed up onto the bar.

“Great grandpa!” he squealed. Robert smiled as his eldest great grandchild jumped onto his lap. 

“Blimey, Robbie, you’re getting heavy.” The boy just giggled easily as Robert ruffled his hair.

“That’s not my name, great grandpa,” the boy said, though he‘d heard it too many times before to be confused, looking at Aaron with a smile.

“Yes, it is,” Robert contradicted him. “Well, it’s a better name than Aaron, isn’t it?”

“Oi,” Aaron said next to him. “Don’t.” Robert rolled his eyes dramatically making four year old Aaron Robert Sugden giggle charmingly before wriggling to get down. “Hey, get your mother to bring us a couple of pints over.”

“He’s four, you’re not sending him on a beer run,” Robert said. He caught Lydia’s eye from behind the bar and nodded for a round of drinks, as the boy ran to his mother. 

“We havent got all the food ready yet,” Lydia said.

“Well, if we’d waited any longer, the old man would have fallen asleep,” Aaron said with a raised eyebrow.

“You’re not that much younger than me,” Robert said indignantly.

“Enough to matter,” Aaron said with a grin. “Where’s Ben?” he asked Lydia as she brought their drinks over.

“Dad’s picking Liv up from the train station,” she said. “If you weren’t an hour early, everyone would be here,” she added, the reprimand in her voice clear.

“It’s our anniversary,” Robert said. “We can turn up when we like.”

“I don’t know how you’ve made it this long,” Lydia said, shaking her head.

“To be honest, I don’t either,” Aaron said. “I thought we’d be over within… oh… a week?”

“Two,” Robert corrected, grinning widely. He leaned across and kissed Aaron gently, showing he didn’t mean it making Aaron smile softly.

Over the next hour or so, the pub filled with their extended family and friends, all looking a little older, a little more worn, but happy. Aaron could scarcely believe it. After such a rocky start, how had he ended up having such a happy life? Not many people were lucky enough to spend most of their adult life with a man they loved so deeply. Aaron loved Robert more now than when they married, though he wouldn’t have said that was possible at the time.

“We’ve created quite a life together,” Robert said softly, showing his thoughts were running in a similar vein to Aaron’s.

“No one would have ever put money on us ending up like this," Aaron added.

“I wouldn’t have either,” Robert said. “I mean, I loved you, I always loved you but we were… let’s go with fiery in our youth.”

“Surprised you can remember that far back,” Aaron teased.

“You’re only six years younger than me,” Robert pointed out. Aaron simply smiled before resting his head on Robert’s shoulder. He was distantly aware of Ben taking photos of them, but he didn’t care. He was happy, and really, that was all he had ever wanted from life. Robert kissed the top of his head lightly, making Aaron smile wider. He had no idea how long he and Robert had left, but he knew that there was no one else for him. Robert was it, and he’d made Aaron happier than he felt he ever had any right to being.


End file.
